


Dusk, or All We Have Is Right Now

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Other Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-01
Updated: 2009-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-15 22:33:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8075374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: What went on behind the scenes during Twilight. As a die hard TnT shipper I have a love-hate relationship with the episode Twilight. This is my attempt to write TnT into that universe. Okay, shoehorn them in, with all due respect to the others who have done the same. This is my take.This story also contains Malcolm/Amanda and a femslash pairing with Hoshi/f - but those are b-plots. It's mainly a T'Pol/Tucker story. Plenty of angst but the reset button awaits.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** Disclaimer: I don't own this world, or the characters in it.
> 
>  
> 
> A/N: This mostly sticks to AU canon, with one exception. In this story The Columbia has been destroyed and the other NX ship is called The Endeavor. I wrote it that way as a mistake and liked it, so I kept it.
> 
> Also, this is a different Twilight-verse than my one off story called Desperation - in which I wrote A/T. After that, I challenged myself to write TnT into Twilight and this is what happened.

Trip looked grimly at the Minshara class planet on the viewscreen. It was barely Minshara, and life for the scattered remains of humanity wouldnâ€™t be easy down there. Not that it was a picnic on Enterprise, either. He glanced over at the Captain, whose face was its usual emotionless mask as she sat in the big chair.

_Perhaps its better this way_ , he thought. He wouldnâ€™t have been able to live with himself if Earth had been destroyed on his watch, whatever the circumstances. At least she had all that Vulcan logic and control to rely upon as she dealt with their missionâ€™s failure.

Some days, he had to remind himself that it wasnâ€™t her fault. She wasnâ€™t responsible for Archerâ€™s illness, though he knew she blamed herself for that. She also wasnâ€™t responsible for the Xindi firefight that resulted in the starboard nacelle being blown to hell. If anything, sheâ€™d kept them all alive that day. Still, whenever he looked - really looked - at her in that blue uniform, with those captainâ€™s pips on it - he felt angry. Illogically angry and bitter. It shouldnâ€™t have been her sitting in that chair, and they both knew it. If it had been Archer, Earth very well might still exist.

Trip closed his eyes.

Nearly every night, he dreamed he was standing on his favorite Florida beach with the wind blowing. He could see children playing in the sand, hear the squawking of seagulls and smell the salt of the vast gulf. Then, it would dawn on him. _This isnâ€™t here anymore_ , and he would wake up, alone in his room in a cold sweat.

â€œCommander Tucker,â€ said the Captain, â€œLt. Reed, please join me in the ready room.â€

Malcolm and Trip followed her, glancing at each other with curiosity as to her intentions. When the door closed behind them, she reached into her desk and retrieved a velvet box.

â€œThis isnâ€™t a time for celebration,â€ she said, â€œbut I thought it was time to formalize Lt. Reedâ€™s role as second officer. Second officer is a position which is traditionally held by those with the rank of Lt. Commander.â€

Trip looked at Malcolm and for the first time in many months, he smiled. It was a small, half-smile, but it felt good.

Tâ€™Pol approached Malcolm and clipped a new pip to his uniform.

â€œCongratulations, Lt. Commander Reed,â€ said Tâ€™Pol formally.

Trip smiled, this time fully.

â€œThank you, Captain. Itâ€™s an honor,â€ said Malcolm.

â€œItâ€™s an honor to serve with you,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, as she nodded in a most Vulcan manner.

â€œCongratulations, Mal,â€ said Trip, shaking his friendâ€™s hand, â€œItâ€™s about time. Just remember, I still outrank you.â€

Malcolm smiled at his friend.

â€œIâ€™ll put out a formal announcement over the comm,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œI also told Captain Archer today. He fully approved of my decision. I asked him to join us, but he decided against it.â€

â€œThatâ€™s too bad,â€ said Malcolm.

â€œI agree. From now on, you will attend the senior command meetings each day with Commander Tucker and myself.â€

â€œYes, Captain.â€

â€œYou may return to your post. Dismissed.â€

Malcolm nodded at his two superiors and turned on his heels and exited. Sometimes Trip wondered why they maintained Starfleet regulations, given that Starfleet essentially didnâ€™t exist anymore. But the head of the colony, an Argentinian member of the United Earth cabinet who had been visiting Jupiter Station at the time of Earthâ€™s destruction, had requested they do so. He was busy on the surface of Ceti Alpha V, supervising the construction of the new capital city using parts from the small, battered fleet ships Enterprise had escorted from the Sol system.

â€œI saw you got another letter from Soval today,â€ said Trip, â€œAnything in it I should know about?â€

â€œHe is again requesting that I return to Vulcan. I refused.â€

Tâ€™Pol gestured that Trip could sit down, which he did. She began preparing tea at her desk - the tea kettle and pot being the only physical evidence in the room that Archer was no longer captain.

â€œWould you like some?â€

â€œYes,â€ said Trip, who had switched to tea since Chef had begun rationing the coffee. Tea plants grew well in the hydroponic garden, coffee beans not so well.

â€œThank you,â€ said Trip, â€œThank you for staying with us.â€

â€œIt is my duty,â€ she said.

â€œIs it a duty to us. . .or to him?â€ asked Trip.

Tâ€™Pol carefully measured a portion of mint tea into the infuser and poured the boiling water into the kettle. Trip inhaled the air. The room had started to smell of mint and Vulcan candles, rather than dog and coffee.

â€œBoth,â€ she said softly, meeting his eyes.

Trip held her gaze for a long while, remembering the closeness they had before Archer had become ill, and everything had gone to hell. He missed the time he used to spend with her alone. Not just the neural pressure, but the way they had talked about everything. . .and nothing. He remembered telling her about his boyhood in Florida and how he used to take apart boat engines. He told her the story of how a physics teacher at his high school had taken a chance on putting the C-student into the honors class, and for the first time he started enjoying school. He remembered the way she had helped him through the death of his sister. . .just one death that he had been so broken up about. Now, he was the only Tucker left. On top of that, he had lost his best friend to a crazy, alien brain injury, and Tâ€™Pol to. . . his own bitterness and need to blame someone for what had happened.

Whatever had been going on between them before, he missed it.

She broke the moment by looking down at her desk. She poured him a mug of tea, which he took.

â€œCaptain. . .Tâ€™Pol, Iâ€™ve been having trouble sleeping again,â€ he lied, â€œI was wondering if you would. . .â€

â€œCome to my quarters at 2100 hours,â€ she said.

â€œThanks,â€ he said.

****

Tâ€™Pol removed one of the pips from her collar, placing it carefully in her pocket and hit the chime on the door of what had once been the captainâ€™s quarters, and now was the former captainâ€™s quarters. She was greeted by a wagging dog and a confused looking Jonathan Archer.

â€œYou do not remember our earlier conversation today?â€ she asked.

â€œThe one about Rosemaryâ€™s Baby?â€ he responded.

She took a deep breath. Some days he retained his memories long enough to have dinner, some days he didnâ€™t. She wasnâ€™t up for the full explanation again today, so she would have to play-act.

â€œNo,â€ she said, â€œyouâ€™ve had a head injury. But Phlox is working on a treatment. Commander Tucker has the bridge and we are searching for the weapon. However, for your own safety, the doctor has requested you stay in your quarters.â€

Archer reached for the comm.

â€œHeâ€™s already explained it to you more than once,â€ she said, â€œI suggest you donâ€™t interrupt him.â€

â€œHow long has it been?â€

â€œOnly a few days,â€ she said, â€œHeâ€™s close to a cure, and the mission continues. I promise to inform you if there are any major changes. Now, sit down. Youâ€™re still not well. Chef is sending up dinner for us.â€

She looked up at her friend, hoping her words would work this time. She didnâ€™t want to tell him the truth again.

He sat down, and she was relieved. There would be no struggle.

â€œCan you give me a report?â€ he asked.

She had done this before. There was a day shortly after his illness began, when things were still hopeful, that she remembered for these occasions. When she spoke, she enjoyed pretending her words were the truth.

â€œIt sounds like you and Trip have everything under control,â€ he said.

â€œYou should be very proud of the entire crew,â€ she said earnestly, â€œThese days havenâ€™t been easy.â€

â€œWell,â€ said Archer, â€œhopefully Phlox will come through soon.â€

Another chime rang, and Chef arrived personally with their meals.

â€œHow are you, Captain?â€ he said, half-smiling. He glanced at Tâ€™Pol, knowing the Captain was ignorant of the truth.

â€œI could be better, but Iâ€™m glad you are here with that,â€ said Archer.

â€œGlad to see you feeling okay,â€ said Chef as he disappeared.

â€œItâ€™s rare that he delivers meals himself,â€ said Archer.

â€œHeâ€™s worried about you,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œThe whole crew is, but we must trust in Phlox.â€

With that, they began to eat, mostly in silence.

****

Later that night, Tâ€™Pol sat before the meditation candles, waiting for Trip. She was puzzled as to why he requested neural pressure again. She supposed that it could simply be that he needed help sleeping. However, humans had a habit of hiding their true motives.

She had missed their friendship, and she dared hope that perhaps he had missed it as well, and that was his true motive for returning to her. Inwardly, she chided herself for such selfishness. On Vulcan, friendship was frowned upon. It was acceptable to have collegial working relationships, such as the one she had with Captain Archer, but what she had had with Trip was taboo. The private jokes they had shared, the gifts he had brought her. . .these expressions would have been considered vulgar. Even among mates, such dynamics were not acceptable.

_Mates_ , she thought sadly. Her mother had written her that Koss had chosen another mate when he had heard of her choice to stay and captain Enterprise. When she got the news, Tâ€™Pol had felt relief but also sorrow. She was at an age when she should have been married and been gradually building a mating bond. . .Vulcans werenâ€™t meant to spend their lives alone. It was in their nature to bond with another.

Tâ€™Pol closed her eyes.

Only in her deepest meditation, in the safety of her white space, did she admit to herself that the hours she had spent with Trip had been a kind of substitution for the early rituals of Vulcan marriage. Before the onset of Pon Farr, couples would spend at least a year together. During that time, they would get to know each other and ideally start to develop an affection for one another before their final mating. What Phlox had not known when he suggested neural pressure for Trip was that the practice was often used between Vulcan newlyweds to create physical intimacy between them. That intimacy helped facilitate the deep telepathic bond that would align their mating cycles. Clinically, neural pressure was only practiced on members of the same gender and only then if they were heterosexual.

She would have been within her rights to refuse Phlox. She should have refused him, but she hadnâ€™t. Tâ€™Pol still didnâ€™t understand why she hadnâ€™t. Initially, she told herself it was for the betterment of the mission, and that she was just helping a colleague. Looking back, however, she realized that was untrue. She had also convinced herself that because Trip was human, the neural pressure would be purely clinical. Yet, she knew she wouldnâ€™t have engaged in such intimacy with any other male member of the crew, including the captain.

She suddenly realized she had been attracted to Trip, and she had allowed that to cloud her judgement. The direction of her thoughts alarmed her. It was for the better that Trip had broken off their sessions. Nonetheless, she found herself looking forward to his visit.

She inhaled sharply and went into her white space. These thoughts needed to be banished. She was captain of the ship, and Commander Tucker was her first officer. Resuming their friendship would be a good thing, but it could never be more than that. It took a few minutes, but her control returned to her.

When the chime on her door rang, she felt serene and at peace.

****

Two hours later, Tâ€™Pol found herself lying on the floor of her quarters in Tripâ€™s arms. She had applied pressure to a neural node on the back of his neck that was particularly sensitive to humans. She had then reversed positions to allow him to apply pressure to the same point on her neck, but sleep had overtaken him. Before Tâ€™Pol had realized what was happening, he had pressed her into the floor, his head resting against her back. She had waited patiently for him to shift position so she could extract herself from his embrace, but when he did move in his sleep, it was to gather her into his arms more fully.

Now, they were spooned together, and Tâ€™Pol made no move to disengage herself.

Resuming these sessions had been ill-advised, she thought.

He hadnâ€™t said much of anything when he had arrived, nor did he meet her gaze even once. She had immediately noticed there was far more tension in his body than there ever had been before, which given horror of the past months was understandable. But he was so quiet, she had wondered if he had come to her simply because he needed to sleep. Despite herself, she worried that he still carried resentment against her.

Yet, he was holding her in the way that humans held their mates.

_It is not advisable or appropriate to allow this practice to continue. She would definitely discontinue these sessions_ , she thought, as she too drifted off to sleep.

****

Trip was walking along his favorite beach, one of those local, secret beaches. It was located down a dirt road and hidden behind some dunes. The sand felt wonderful, massaging his bare feet. Even the air smelled good, salty and fresh. The wind blew in his hair as he looked out across the water at the sailboats cruising along using only wind power.

Strangely, though, the beach was nearly empty. There was only one other person there, a woman. She stood with her back to him, her dark hair blowing in the wind. She was wearing a blue Starfleet jumpsuit. Strange, he thought. Even stranger, he recognized Subcommander Tâ€™Pol. She always wore her High Command uniform. She turned to look at him.

Suddenly, a feeling of absolute dread washed over him. He ran to her. Oblivious to Vulcanâ€™s sensitivity to being touched, he grabbed her shoulders.

â€œTâ€™Pol, we have to get out of here now,â€ he said as the panic overtook him.

â€œWhy?â€

â€œThis place. . .itâ€™s going to be destroyed.â€

â€œNo,â€ she said, â€œThis place will always exist here.â€

Trip looked around. His knees threatened to buckle, and he could barely breathe.

â€œThis place is gone. Itâ€™s all gone.â€

â€œWeâ€™re in your mind,â€ she said softly, â€œThis place will always exist in your mind.â€

â€œYouâ€™re sayinâ€™ Iâ€™m dreaming,â€ he whispered.

â€œIn a manner of speaking,â€ she said softly.

_Except this is the part where you wake up, in a dream,_ he thought.

He dropped his hands from her shoulders. She reached over and took them into her own hands. She guided him to the ground, where they knelt together on the sand.

â€œYou can always come here, in your mind,â€ she said, â€œWhenever you need to feel at peace.â€

His breathing calmed. The panic slowly drained away.

â€œWhy are you here?â€

â€œBecause you wish me to be here,â€ she said.

Trip opened his eyes and realized quickly that a pajama-clad Tâ€™Pol was in his arms, asleep. No wonder he had dreamt about her. He started to remember where they were and all that had happened. Not for the first time, he found himself envying Jonathan Archerâ€™s illness. Sometimes heâ€™d given anything to forget for just a little longer. He knew he should probably disentangle himself and head back to his quarters, but he didnâ€™t. He just dozed off again, this time without dreaming.


	2. Chapter 2

Trip finally woke up when Tâ€™Pol stirred at 05300 hours, her usual time to rise and dress. She said nothing as she quietly prepared for her day as if her first officer was not sleeping on her floor.

â€œYou always get up this early, Captain?â€ asked Trip.

â€œYes,â€ she replied softly.

He sat up and stretched. He had had the same Florida dream that he had been having, but it was different. Tâ€™Pol had been there, and it had felt very real. She had comforted him and made the dream somehow less terrible.

â€œI suppose I should head back to my quarters,â€ he said, â€œThanks for letting me stay last night. I havenâ€™t slept that well. . .since. . .you know.â€

â€œIâ€™ll see you at 0800 for the morning briefing,â€ she said.

Trip peeked out of her door to make sure no one was there, and he headed off to his own quarters. He didnâ€™t think anyone would care at this point if he and Tâ€™Pol became involved, as long as it didnâ€™t interfere with the running of the ship. But since they werenâ€™t involved - at least not that way - he was happy not to fuel whatever gossip was still floating around about them.

Once he was gone, Tâ€™Pol took a moment to sit down and contemplate the night before. Trip must have noticed there was something strange about his dream, but it appeared he hadnâ€™t understood what had happened. Her musings about their connection had been correct, confirmed by the fact that she had been able to share his dream and even comfort him in it. They were connected. Just how connected and what that connection would mean for them, she did not know.

Telepathic bonds. . .mating bonds werenâ€™t discussed in Vulcan society. She assumed their physical contact combined with the realization of her attraction must have allowed her to share his dream. She resolved to research the matter further when she had time.

But her personal life wasnâ€™t her highest priority. She had a colony to protect and a ship to run. . .and a former captain to care for.

****

â€œGoddammit,â€ said Trip, pushing back his breakfast plate. He suddenly wasnâ€™t hungry at all. He instead felt sick.

Malcolm leaned back in his chair and briefly put his face in his hands, thinking this was the worst news he could imagine on his first day as part of the senior command team. During these morning breakfasts, Captain Tâ€™Pol informed her two senior officers of the status of the colony, any identified threats and the location of the other convoys that were to bring refugees to the Ceti Alpha V.

â€œCaptain Hernandez put up a valiant fight,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œbut all hands aboard The Columbia were lost.â€

â€œDid any of the 300 ships they were escorting survive?â€ asked Malcolm.

â€œNone that we know of,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œThe few Vulcan and Andorian ships in the area have been told to be on the lookout for any stray survivors.â€

The Xindi had a methodology that they all knew. Destroy the mother ship, and then chase down the small ships one by one, destroying each without mercy.

â€œDid the Xindi who attacked them know where they were headed? Could they have identified our position?â€ asked Trip.

â€œIt doesnâ€™t seem so,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œThey were still over 14 light years from here, but we should be extra vigilant Also, it appears The Columbia did significant damage to the Xindi fleet that attacked them. Three out of the five Reptilian cruisers that attacked them, did not survive the battle.â€

â€œThe Columbia was nearly new and had better weapons systems than us,â€ said Malcolm, â€œand they still didnâ€™t survive.â€

â€œHopefully, if we are discovered, weâ€™ll have warning,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œbut the best case scenario is still our position remaining undiscovered.â€

Tâ€™Pol felt it was illogical to dwell on the fate of The Columbia convoy. Instead, she turned their attention to matters regarding the colony and the maintenance of Enterprise. She had assigned Malcolm to develop a weapons training program for the colonists, so they could defend themselves not only against potential Xindi ground assaults but also any other invaders. Enterprise had already destroyed several pirate ships attempting to raid the colony, but it was only a matter of time before one managed to land on the surface. Trip had his hands full doing everything he could to extend the life of all the shipâ€™s systems, but they still needed a plan to obtain certain essentials. A few of the supplies would have to be obtained somehow, and Tâ€™Pol believed the best course of action would be for someone to take one of the smaller ships that hadnâ€™t been broken down to a nearby system.

The comm pinged.

â€œCaptain,â€ said one of the security officers, â€œCaptain Archer is awake and asking questions.â€

â€œThank you, Iâ€™ll be right down.â€

â€œDismissed, gentleman,â€ said Tâ€™Pol formally as she rose from her chair.

Malcolm headed off to the armory, but Trip lingered.

â€œLet me go talk to him today,â€ said Trip, â€œYouâ€™ve gone every day for the last six weeks. Iâ€™m still not over the last time it fell to me to explain. . .â€

â€œWeâ€™ve discussed this,â€ she said, â€œIâ€™m far more equipped to handle his emotional outbursts. Besides, Iâ€™m the Captain, and itâ€™s my duty.â€

Trip sighed. She could be so stubborn at times. He resisted the urge to grab her arm as she turned away. Instead, he just looked into her eyes.

â€œLetâ€™s both go,â€ he said.

She nodded her assent.

****

Trip looked down at the readout on the treadmill. Had an hour passed so quickly? He had come to the gym right after his shift, skipping dinner. Now, he was covered in sweat and didnâ€™t even feel tired, though his muscles ached. The dayâ€™s grim events had apparently caused his adrenaline to kick in, and he couldnâ€™t think of another way to expend it. His mind wandered back to that morning.

It was always bad, telling Archer what had happened, but that morning had been very bad. Archer refused to believe them, and then security had to stun him as he broke out of his quarters and headed to the bridge. When he woke up, heâ€™d lost his memory again, and theyâ€™d started all over. That time, he and Tâ€™Pol had pleaded with him to believe them. He did, but that didnâ€™t stop him from asking all the usual questions, which she had answered with all her Vulcan patience. She endured the tears and anger and shock. Finally, she suggested he take a walk with Porthos on the upper decks, where it was quiet and he would run into few crewman. He agreed. Trip had offered to go with him, but Archer said he wanted to be alone. Trip didnâ€™t blame him. He hadnâ€™t spoken more than three words to anyone in the days after Earthâ€™s destruction.

Trip also thought of Captain Hernandez and The Columbia. He had met her a few times, back during his time at the Warp 5 Complex. He remembered a tough, focused woman who also happened to be attractive and funny. Hadnâ€™t she and the Captain once been an item? Images of them together, laughing together in the mess hall and sharing drinks at the 602 Club, popped into Tripâ€™s head. He thought they had dated for awhile, though they kept it discreet. _Although_ , thought Trip, _everyone on this ship thinks Tâ€™Pol and I. . .and we never. . ._

Trip sighed. It was a shame. They sure could have used another NX class ship to guard the colony, and they sure could have used another experienced captain. More and more, Trip was starting to understand just how grateful he should be to Tâ€™Pol for getting them this far. Erika Hernandez was the best Starfleet had to offer, and she and her ship were gone.

Trip headed back to his quarters and found himself in the shower. His mind continued to race and wander. He thought of the previous nightâ€™s strange dream. Although it was less of a nightmare than what he had been experiencing, the memory of it left him unsettled. If he didnâ€™t know better, heâ€™d have thought she was actually in his dream.

****

Tâ€™Pol sat in front of her meditation candle, dressed in her blue pajamas.

The chime on her door rang. They hadnâ€™t made a specific plan to continue his treatments, but she was not surprised that he had come. That had been their old, unspoken routine.

She needed to stop the treatments, especially given what had occurred the previous night. They were connected telepathically, more than she had ever been with her betrothed, Koss. If they continued to be in physical contact, the bond would only grow stronger.

She briefly thought of lying to him, simply telling him that she no longer wished to treat him. However, that seemed unfair. He had a right to know the truth. She was both his captain and his friend, and she owed him that.

â€œCome in,â€ she said formally.

Trip appeared in the doorway, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. He strode in and sat down before her.

â€œI slept better on your floor last night that I have in my own bunk recently,â€ he said.

â€œIâ€™m glad I could help you,â€ she said earnestly.

She bit her lip.

â€œWhatâ€™s wrong?â€ he said.

She drew a breath. She was about to tell him something that Vulcans did not discuss with outsiders.

â€œYour dream last night. . .â€ she whispered, â€œI was in it.â€

â€œHow did you know?â€ he asked.

He didnâ€™t like the look on her face or the vibe in the room.

â€œWhat I am about to tell you isnâ€™t widely known outside of Vulcan society, and even among ourselves it is rarely spoken about.â€

â€œGo on.â€

â€œVulcans are touch-telepaths. When we have physical contact with someone, we can sometimes access their thoughts or transfer our thoughts to theirs. This is considered very intimate. This is why we avoid casual physical contact,â€ she said.

Trip digested this information, and he realized what it possibly meant.

â€œYou were in my dream last night. But it was really you.â€

She nodded.

â€œI believe over the course of our treatments, weâ€™ve developed a light telepathic bond that allowed me to appear in your dream. I remember telling you that the beach in your mind could not ever be destroyed.â€

â€œThatâ€™s amazing,â€ said Trip, scooting toward her.

Tâ€™Pol swallowed.

â€œI never would have agreed to the treatments had I known it was possible to form even a light bond with a human. I violated your privacy without intent. . .but I still. . .â€

Trip smiled at her.

â€œI was glad you were there. I had been having those nightmares for weeks. . I think you helped me.â€

He reached out to take her hand, and she snapped it back.

â€œYou donâ€™t understand. This connection we have . . .itâ€™s likely the precursor to . . .to a mating bond. If we continue to be in physical contact with each other, it will only grow stronger.â€

Trip thought about this for a moment.

â€œYou mean itâ€™s a romantic thing?â€

â€œItâ€™s more than that,â€ she whispered, â€œItâ€™s . . itâ€™s . .â€

She couldnâ€™t continue, she closed her eyes.

He wanted more than anything to reach over and hold her, as he had done the previous night, but he knew somehow he shouldnâ€™t. But he really, really wanted to.

â€œItâ€™s okay, Tâ€™Pol,â€ he said, â€œItâ€™s okay.â€

Before the captainâ€™s illness, Trip had just started to admit to himself that he was romantically interested in Tâ€™Pol. Certainly, he had been physically attracted to her since day one - that was a given. All the straight men on the ship were attracted to her. But he had started to really. . .like her on top of that. His anger at the world had fogged up those feelings over the past few months, but he now realized they still existed.

â€œItâ€™s not okay,â€ she said, â€œas I said, telepathy is considered deeply intimate, more intimate than sexual relations. . .â€

Sexual relations. The words knocked around in his head. He looked at her. Really looked at her. The way her pajamas clung to her body. The bee-stung lips. The adorable ears. He remembered the first night she had approached him for neural pressure. He thought she had been coming on to him. Now, he couldnâ€™t recall why he had wanted to rebuff those imagined advances. He tried to remember the last time heâ€™d been with a woman. . had it really been before the Xindiâ€™s first attack?

Tâ€™Pol had stopped speaking, and before he knew what was happening he leaned over and took her face in his hands. She said nothing and was still.

_All we have is right now_ , he thought. Somehow, he knew she had heard it.

He leaned over and kissed her on the mouth. At first, she didnâ€™t respond, but gradually she began to return the kiss. She tentatively opened her mouth, and he thrust his tongue inside. She gasped then moaned.

Tâ€™Pol had never experienced anything quite like this. Vulcans didnâ€™t kiss or show this kind of affection at all, so she was unprepared for the sensations that raced through her mind and body. She knew she should tell him to stop, but the bond had somehow ignited the moment he had touched her. She felt what he felt and was unwilling or unable to suppress it. She felt all his sorrow and devastation of the last months course through her mind, as well as how alive she was making him feel. How exhilarated he felt as he held her.

She knew it wasnâ€™t logical to allow him to continue, but the mating bond wasnâ€™t a logical thing. It was a vestige of a far more primitive time in her peopleâ€™s history.

Trip found himself surprised that she hadnâ€™t tried to stop him, pleasantly so. However, he broke their embrace. He searched her face for any objection or worry, and he saw none.

â€œTâ€™Pol,â€ he whispered, â€œif I donâ€™t go now, I donâ€™t think I can stop. . .I . . .â€

What Trip didnâ€™t realize is that that while she didnâ€™t understand his gentleness or his concern for her, she could comprehend his need. Vulcan mating cycles were all about primal need.

She lay back on the floor, taking him with her. He knew then, they had passed the point of no return.


	3. Chapter 3

She closed her eyes, as if waiting for something. He felt her body tense and sensed a strange resolve in her, and suddenly he realized she was preparing herself for an assault. He propped himself up on one elbow and looked at her. Her eyes opened, and she looked back, as if puzzled. She was about to speak, but he hushed her by placing a finger on her lips. 

She recognized something unexpected in his strange, so-very human blue eyes. She saw passion but not violence. He kissed her on the mouth again. His tongue explored forcefully but there was no threat. She relaxed and put her arms around him. 

She trusted him, possibly more than she would have ever trusted a Vulcan mate. She sighed as he began to unbutton her top, slipping his other hand around her ample breasts as she wiggled out of it. She tugged at the bottom of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. She admired the angles of his chest and began to run her fingers over them, reveling in the exploration that was usually denied Vulcan women. Meanwhile, he continued to tease her breasts with his hands, admiring the greenish tinge of her taut nipples. 

He kissed her lips, her cheek and then one pointed ear, nippling at the tip. She shivered at this, and he pressed her small body into his, enjoying in the feel of her hot skin. Not warm like a human woman, but hot. His curious, impatient hands slipped down her pajama bottoms to explore the place between her thighs, which was wet and literally very hot. Otherwise, she felt much like a human woman. That is somewhat of relief, he thought as he slipped a finger inside her. She was very tight, but well-lubricated. She began to tremble and she moaned into his mouth. 

It occurred to him that she might be a virgin, but if she was there was no direct evidence of it. He looked into her eyes again. Now it was time to speak.

â€œHave you ever done this before?â€

â€œNo. Vulcans rarely engage in sexual relations outside of marriage. However, I am well aware of the mechanics,â€ she said in a suddenly calm voice. 

_Vulcan to the core_ , he thought. 

â€œIâ€™ll be gentle,â€ he whispered.

â€œThatâ€™s not necessary. Vulcans are evolutionarily adapted to aggressive mating,â€ she whispered back.

He locked eyes with her and realized to his horror she wasnâ€™t joking. That last thing he wanted to do was be rough with her, and he then knew she sensed that in him. He could feel her mind opening to him, her understanding that he wanted to make her happy just as surely as he wanted to please himself. He continued to stroke her until he knew she was incapable of coherent thought. 

She finally bucked and spasmed and gave a soft, long growl from her throat. As she did so, he watched her pretty face contort with pleasure - to him a rare and amazing sight, to see her so open like that. 

When she came down from the dizzying high, she turned away from him. He knew she felt ashamed at her loss of control. He felt that shame in his own mind as she buried her face in his shoulder. He stroked her hair and petted her neck until she relaxed beneath his hands.

â€œItâ€™s okay, baby, Iâ€™m glad you came that way. I wanted you to.â€ 

She understood the human endearments and sexual jargon, and she trembled at the intimacy of them. He lifted her face to his and kissed her again. She leaned into him and felt his arousal against her thigh. 

She knew it was his turn. Still kissing him, she reached down beneath his sweats and grabbed his erection, gently at first so as to not damage him with her Vulcan strength. He moaned a little and smiled at her. Then, he reached down and put his hand atop hers to show her just how to stroke him. 

Her hands were so warm, and she was so strong. . .he thought this before nearly losing control. But he stopped himself and her. He wanted to do right by her this first time. His hands slipped her pajama bottoms off and then she helped him remove his sweats. They were finally naked in each others arms. He climbed on top of her, and she instinctively parted her thighs. She helped him slide inside her. 

He whispered her name in her ear. 

She whispered something in Vulcan back, and he began to move. He figured he wouldnâ€™t be able to make her orgasm again, especially since he was rapidly losing control. He thrust deeply and rhythmically for a long time, surprising himself with how long he lasted. When he did come, he suddenly felt her spasm around him. In his haze, he realized that his climax had trigged one in her. 

Their minds and bodies were linked.


	4. Chapter 4

â€œAre you okay?â€ he whispered when he could finally form words.

She nodded. He rolled off her and pulled her into an embrace. Through this new bond, he felt a terrible fear and regret in her.

â€œWhatâ€™s wrong?â€ he asked.

She trembled in his arms.

â€œYou donâ€™t understand. Vulcans mate for life. There is likely no way to break the bond now.â€

â€œI do understand that,â€ he said, â€œI can feel it through you.â€

â€œYou have every right to be angry. . â€œ

â€œYou tried to warn me, but I wanted this,â€ he said.

â€œWhy?â€ she asked.

â€œBecause this is the first time since the first Xindi attack Iâ€™ve felt like life is worth living,â€ he said. â€œLook, Tâ€™Pol. . .I donâ€™t know whatâ€™s going to happen tomorrow. We both know that either one of us or both of us could die. . .but I donâ€™t regret being here or whatâ€™s happened. Weâ€™ll deal with the consequences of this thing as they come.â€

She inhaled.

â€œCâ€™mon,â€ he said, â€œRelax. Just let go of everything for awhile.â€

He gently caressed her back and arms. She slowly softened against him. After awhile, he got up and headed to her small bathroom. When he emerged, he brought a washcloth and gently gave her a sponge bath before redressing her in her pajamas. She found this nearly as peculiar as his concern for her during their sexual encounter. At times like this, Vulcan men were simply too overcome with delirium to even think of their mateâ€™s well-being.

â€œNow, letâ€™s see if we can squeeze into your bunk,â€ he said as he pulled on his sweatpants, â€œIâ€™m not sure Iâ€™m up for another night on the floor.â€

â€œYou wish to stay with me?â€

â€œIf you donâ€™t mind.â€

Tâ€™Pol shook her head. Tâ€™Pol knew the common human euphemism for sexual relations was â€œsleeping togetherâ€ and she knew that humans did commonly share beds with their mates. So, she allowed Trip to crawl under the coverlet on her bunk, and she followed him. She nervously let him place his arms around her, and she laid her head on his chest.

â€œItâ€™s weird. . .I can feel that youâ€™re still scared. Donâ€™t be, okay?â€

Being held by him was stranger to her Vulcan sensibilities than the gentle copulation had been. She nevertheless found herself adjusting to the idea.

â€œThis complicates things. Our existence is already complicated enough,â€ she whispered.

â€œNo,â€ he said, â€œIt simplifies things. Weâ€™ll take care of each other, I promise.â€

â€œWe should probably keep this between us,â€ she said, â€œI am unsure how the crew will react to the captain and the first officer having mated.â€

Trip smiled at her Vulcan phraseology, and then he squeezed her a little. She had a point. He was optimistic that most of the crew would be fine with their relationship, but he didnâ€™t know about people on the surface. Both of them had important positions to maintain.

â€œYouâ€™re probably right,â€ he sighed, â€œWeâ€™ll keep this between us for now.â€

****

Tripâ€™s eyes fluttered open very early that morning. All the crew quarters on Enterprise were so similar, he at first forgot he wasnâ€™t in his own bed. Then, he smelled the slightly spicy Vulcan candles and the coppery smell of Tâ€™Polâ€™s sheets, which reminded him of perfume except that it wasnâ€™t perfume. It was just a byproduct of her copper blood. He turned over and saw her sitting on the floor, meditating in front of a candle. She was fully dressed in her blue Starfleet jumpsuit. He glanced at the chronometer and saw that it read 0523. She was ever the early-riser.

â€œGood morning,â€ he said.

She opened her eyes.

â€œGood morning, Commander,â€ she said with her customary formality.

So, thatâ€™s how itâ€™s going to be. Lovers by night, officers by day. He could live with that, he supposed.

She stood up, taking the candle with her and setting it on the desk. She turned on the lamp and blew out the candle. He sat up and put his feet on the floor.

â€œIâ€™m going to the ready room,â€ she said, â€œIâ€™ll see you at 0800 for the morning briefing.â€

â€œCâ€™mere,â€ he said, gesturing with his finger.

She approached him, her hands behind her back in a very Vulcan posture.

â€œKiss me goodbye - then Iâ€™ll treat you like my Captain for the rest of the day.â€

She looked at him awkwardly at first, then she leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.

â€œThanks, Captain,â€ he said.

Tâ€™Pol nodded, turned on her heels and disappeared out the door.

****

Tâ€™Pol reached the bridge and found Ensign Sato at her post.

â€œHave the eveningâ€™s communications been sent to my PADD?â€ asked Tâ€™Pol.

â€œYes, Captain,â€ said Hoshi.

â€œGood. Is there anything else to report?â€

â€œNo,â€ she said, â€œIt was a quiet night.â€

â€œVery good,â€ said Tâ€™Pol as she headed toward the Ready Room.

â€œCaptain,â€ said Hoshi, â€œmay I join you for a moment?â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded.

Once at her desk she sat down and beckoned Hoshi to do so the same.

â€œI just wanted to say that if you needed to take a day off from dealing with Captain Archer, Iâ€™d be happy to tell him the truth. We had a good relationship before, and I think he would trust me.â€

Tâ€™Pol leaned forward. She was pleased with the offer, though she had concerns.

â€œIt is a difficult task,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

â€œI know,â€ said Hoshi, â€œand you shouldnâ€™t have to do it every day. I think I can handle it once and awhile.â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded.

â€œI will speak to Phlox about the possibility. If he approves, I will take your offer. However, the first time I must be there with you. Also, I will not allow you to do it more than once a month. Even with my Vulcan control, I have found the task - draining.â€

â€œI know,â€ said Hoshi, â€œthatâ€™s why Iâ€™m offering.â€

â€œVery good, Ensign. Youâ€™re dismissed.â€

****

Later that day, Malcolm and Trip worked together in the armory, attempting to add power to the weapons systems. It wasnâ€™t an easy task, especially working with the limited resources they had.

Since Earthâ€™s destruction, they tended to talk little about personal matters. It was too easy for the conversation to meander to people and places that no longer existed. On the other hand, the crew had become much closer to one another since all they really had was each other.

â€œYou know Corporal Cole?â€ asked Malcolm, â€œThe MACO?â€

Trip nodded. He had seen her a few times, and she was certainly attractive. Hell, thought Trip, objectively speaking she was hot.

â€œSheâ€™s from Florida,â€ he said, â€œApparently, she grew up not far from you.â€

â€œReally?â€ said Trip, â€œMaybe we can get together sometime and talk about what isnâ€™t there anymore.â€

â€œJust as long as you remember who saw her first,â€ said Malcolm.

Trip looked up.

â€œAre you two. . .?â€

Malcolm smirked a little as he worked on the controls of one of the starboard phase canons.

â€œNot yet,â€ said Malcolm, â€œbut thatâ€™s the plan.â€

â€œCarpe Diem,â€ said Trip.

â€œI figure with so few humans left,â€ said Malcolm, â€œItâ€™s time to think about creating some more humans, and Corporal Cole is attractive enough that I imagine she wonâ€™t be single for long. Iâ€™ve decided to step up, as you yanks would say.â€

Trip laughed.

â€œGood for you. Sheâ€™s lucky.â€

â€œShe doesnâ€™t know how lucky, yet,â€ said Malcolm.

Trip grinned at his friend. Then, he felt a little sadness creep up. Life was moving on, and more and more small moments of happiness were returning. Trip thought it likely he would never feel pure joy again, but he felt comforted that life could move forward in some way.

â€œSpeaking of which,â€ said Malcolm, â€œIâ€™ve gotten a report that says you havenâ€™t slept in your quarters in the last two nights.â€

Trip turned around.

â€œHow do you know that?â€

â€œItâ€™s from the door logs. Thereâ€™s a program that flags any anomalous readings from the doors.â€

â€œAnd not being in your cabin two nights in row is considered anomalous?â€

â€œNot alone,â€ said Malcolm, â€œbut it could indicate the subject has been taken over by a non-corporeal being or have been infected by an alien virus or any number of things. . . mostly it just indicates that the subject is getting laid. In that case, I tend to ignore the readings. Except when itâ€™s you.â€

Trip turned back around to the console he was working on.

â€œItâ€™s not your business, Malcolm.â€

â€œI daresay it is,â€ said Malcolm, â€œEspecially, since itâ€™s you and our captain.â€

â€œMal. . . â€œ

â€œIâ€™m not judging either of you,â€ said Malcolm, â€œIâ€™ve got no problem with it as long as you two donâ€™t let it interfere with your command decisions.â€

Trip slammed the the console shut.

â€œWe wonâ€™t. She especially wonâ€™t, being a Vulcan. But, Malcolm, she and I agreed to keep this thing quiet for now.â€

Malcolm walked over to his friend.

â€œI wonâ€™t tell a soul,â€ he said, â€œbut I am surprised. I sensed things had cooled between you after Archer got sick.â€

â€œThey had. Just started up again - and for real this time. The Columbia - it just got to me and then she was there. You know.â€

Malcolm nodded.

â€œI know,â€ he said.

****

Tâ€™Pol couldnâ€™t believe her eyes, when she stared down at the report on her PADD. It defied logic. The NX-03, The Endeavor, had fled the Sol system and sought refuge in Andorian space. It currently was operating with a skeleton crew, owing to the fact that it had barely escaped Jupiter Station as the Xindi had attacked.

â€œSoval will be headed to Andoria,â€ said Tâ€™Pol to Hoshi, â€œHe is one of the few with the coordinates to this system. He will personally tell Captain Clark our location, so as not to risk a subspace transmission that could be intercepted.â€

Hoshi smiled. This was the first good news they had had in as long as she could remember.

â€œThereâ€™s more,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œAn elementary school class was touring the ship at the time of the attack. There are 42 human children aboard The Endeavor.â€

Hoshi put her hands over her mouth to suppress a gasp. Then tears formed in her eyes that she couldnâ€™t control. She reached into a compartment on her console and retrieved a tissue to wipe her eyes.

â€œEnsign Sato,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œI thought you would be happy at this news.â€

Hoshi sniffled.

â€œI am, Captain,â€ she said, â€œI am. These arenâ€™t tears of sadness, really.â€

After all her time among humans, Tâ€™Pol still didnâ€™t understand how crying could signify happiness as well as sadness, but she did feel compassion for Ensign Sato.

â€œYou may take a break from your post, Ensign.â€

Hoshi nodded.

â€œYes, Captain.â€

*****

The next morning, Malcolm, Trip and Tâ€™Pol sat around the breakfast table as usual. Tâ€™Pol sensed a lightening of the mood that was the most significant change in morale since before Earthâ€™s destruction.

â€œHow did they ever survive?â€ asked Malcolm.

â€œWith their weapons systems not yet online, Captain Clark decided his only option was escape. The initial attack focused on the station, rather than the ship. This gave him a chance to evade the Xindi ships by going to Warp 5. Lt. Commander Reed, your priority will be getting their weapons online when they arrive.â€

â€œWhat about the children?â€ asked Trip.

The report indicated that 36 of the children aboard The Endeavor were orphans. The six that werenâ€™t happened to have parents who had volunteered to chaperone the field trip.

â€œIâ€™ve spoken to President Borges,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œHe believes the children should be divided up. Some should be settled on the surface, while others should stay aboard The Endeavor and another group should be placed here on Enterprise.â€

â€œWhy?â€ asked Trip.

â€œIf the colony is destroyed, then some of the children aboard the ships might survive - assuming one or both of the ships could escape. If either or both of the ships are destroyed, perhaps some of the children from the colony will survive.â€

Trip closed his eyes. It was a wise, if somewhat sickening strategy.

â€œWe shall have to look for volunteers among the crew to take over the care of any children that might come aboard as well as set up both schooling and recreational facilities.â€

Malcolm smiled.

â€œI think it will be nice having children aboard,â€ he said softly.

â€œMe too,â€ said Trip.

Tâ€™Pol looked at them both. Vulcans still numbered in the billions, but anyoneâ€™s best guess estimated the number of humans to be between 6,000 and 7,000. Tâ€™Pol well understood why everyone had reacted so strongly to the idea that children would be arriving.

â€œSoval believes they should arrive within six weeks,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

â€œWe should plan some kind of a welcome party for them,â€ said Trip.

Tâ€™Pol looked at him, and through their bond she felt a real happiness flow through her. Humans were certainly more resilient than Vulcans would be under the same circumstances.

â€œI shall assign Crewman Cutler and the Chef to prepare a celebration when the children arrive.â€


	5. Chapter 5

Three weeks later, Malcolm sat in Tâ€™Polâ€™s ready room. She had called him there for unspecified reasons.

â€œI wanted to show you something,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, who pulled up a record on the screen. It was the record of one of the orphans that would be arriving on The Endeavor.

â€œHer name is Lily St. John, and she is five earth years old and was born in Bristol, England. Sheâ€™s the only British child among the orphans.â€

Malcolm looked at the blond little girl with the chubby cheeks, holding a poppy flower. The way she was smiling, he assumed the photograph had been taken before her parents had died.

â€œWhy are you showing this to me?â€

â€œPresident Borges believes that the orphans should be placed among people who understand their cultural traditions. As you know, there are very few British survivors living on Ceti Alpha V. I wanted to ask you if you would like to take over the caretaker role for this child.â€

Malcolm sat back in his chair. He hadnâ€™t expected this.

â€œCaptain,â€ he said looking at the photograph, â€œI donâ€™t know what to say. I. . .I mean, Iâ€™m still a bachelor and. . .â€

â€œYou told me last week that you had decided to mate with Corporal Cole. I assumed that was still your plan.â€

â€œDate, I said date,â€ responded Malcolm, â€œbut itâ€™s only been a few weeks.â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded, and she reminded herself that human courtship was radically different from Vulcan courtship.

â€œThere is no need for an immediate decision,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œShe will not arrive for at least three weeks. Perhaps you would like to think about it and discuss the matter with Corporal Cole.â€

Malcolm nodded.

â€œHow did things go with Captain Archer today?â€ he asked. He, Hoshi and Trip all had a pact to make sure that Tâ€™Pol didnâ€™t have to deal with the former captainâ€™s illness alone.

â€œI didnâ€™t tell him the entire truth today,â€ she said, â€œthat made it easier on both him and me.â€

Malcolm nodded.

â€œHoshi told me sheâ€™s going to take over tomorrowâ€™s shift to give you a break.â€

â€œYes,â€ said Tâ€™Pol stiffly, â€œShe has proved most capable of handing the situation.â€

â€œIs there anything else, Captain?â€

â€œNo, Mr. Reed. You are dismissed.â€

****

The next meeting of the senior bridge staff involved discussing plans for the ten children that would be living on Enterprise. Hoshi volunteered to coordinate their schooling, and Tâ€™Pol was working on a plan to reconfigure some of the crew quarters so that the children could live in the same space as their adoptive parents.

â€œWe should reconfigure Cargo Bay 3 into a playground,â€ said Trip.

Tâ€™Pol was puzzled. Vulcans had no word for playground.

â€œHuman kids need a big wide open space to play,â€ explained Trip, â€œTheyâ€™ll need to expend energy, especially since they will be living cooped up on a starship.â€

â€œPerhaps you and your crew could make the design changes,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

â€œThat will be fun,â€ said Trip, who was already thinking of various ways he could fabricate a merry-go-round.

Tâ€™Pol noticed his enthusiasm, and how his mood had brightened since the news of the childrenâ€™s arrival.

****

Later that night, Trip and Tâ€™Pol were curled up in bed together. Trip ran his fingers through her dark hair.

â€œDo you wish to find a human mate? One you could have a child with? Although, our bond cannot be severed, I would do my best to release you if you wished.â€

Trip sat up in bed.

â€œWhere did that come from?â€

â€œThere are very few humans left. It is only natural that you would wish to seek a mate with whom you could procreate.â€

Tâ€™Pol sensed anger in him. She hadnâ€™t expected that.

â€œTâ€™Pol,â€ he said, â€œThe last thing I want is to purposely bring a child into this hellish existence. It wouldnâ€™t be fair. I know there are others that donâ€™t feel the same as me. . .want to repopulate and all. . .but I could never bring a kid into this place on purpose.â€

She said nothing, but he sensed she was both relieved and sad. He laid back down next to her, so they were facing one another.

â€œPlus Iâ€™m not interested in anyone else but you,â€ he said, â€œYouâ€™re my . . .youâ€™re the only one. . .â€

He didnâ€™t finish.

â€œIâ€™m glad of that, Thyâ€™la.â€

â€œWhat does that mean?â€

Tâ€™Pol reached up and entwined her fingers into his.

â€œIt roughly translates to beloved.â€

He smiled at her, his earlier anger gone. He understood, through their bond, how difficult it was for her to offer to release him, but that it was fundamentally Vulcan to want to sacrifice for a greater good. What she had offered was an expression of love.

â€œWeâ€™ll have no more talk of you releasing me,â€ said Trip, â€œand for the record, Iâ€™ve got no intention of releasing you.â€

****

Two weeks later, Tâ€™Pol sat across from Malcolm and Amanda.

â€œI must perform the ceremony?â€ asked Tâ€™Pol.

â€œYouâ€™re the captain,â€ replied Malcolm, amused that this human tradition was unknown to his Vulcan captain.

â€œSurely, there is someone else. . â€œ

â€œThereâ€™s no one else, Captain,â€ said Amanda, â€œMalcolm and I never would have met if we hadnâ€™t both been serving on this ship. We want her Captain to marry us, and preferably before Lily arrives.â€

â€œThen I will be honored,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œTell me which human ceremony you prefer, and I will study it.â€

â€œThe one used in the British Navy will do,â€ said Malcolm, â€œIâ€™ll send it to you.â€

â€œThank you, and congratulations to you both.â€

The couple then turned and left. Tâ€™Pol then scrolled through the files of the other nine children that were to come aboard the Enterprise. Six were American and three were Canadian - all native speakers of English between the ages for five and ten. Five boys and five girls. One boy was Japanese-American, and Hoshi had agreed to adopt him.

****

Tâ€™Pol sat in the Captainâ€™s mess, and across from her sat Jonathan Archer. She had told him the full story today, and he had been peppering her with questions for the last hour. She had patiently answered, but her allotted time was coming to an end. As captain, she had many duties.

â€œIâ€™m sure Travis could help you understand what the needs of children in deep space will be,â€ said Archer enthusiastically.

â€œEnsign Mayweather is dead,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œHe was killed in a battle with the Xindi.â€

Archer closed his eyes. Of all the dead crewmembers, he usually took Travisâ€™s death the hardest. Tâ€™Pol thought maybe she should have lied about that, but she tended to tell all lies or the whole truth. She wasnâ€™t good at keeping in-betweens straight in her head.

â€œTomorrow there will be a wedding in the mess hall,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œLt. Commander Reed and Corporal Amanda Cole have decided to marry. There have also been many weddings on the surface,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

â€œThatâ€™s nice,â€ said Archer.

â€œHumans are resilient,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œand many wish to try and move forward, despite the difficult circumstances. Do you wish to attend?â€

â€œI wonâ€™t know about it tomorrow,â€ said Archer.

â€œDo you believe you would like to attend?â€

â€œYes,â€ said Archer, â€œbut letâ€™s see how I take the news tomorrow.â€

Tâ€™Pol finished the last bites on her plate. She stood up.

â€œCaptain,â€ she said, â€œI must return to my post.â€

â€œYouâ€™re the Captain,â€ said Archer, â€œYou donâ€™t need my permission.â€

She nodded in acknowledgement of this fact, but both Archer and Tâ€™Pol knew that she would have done anything for it not to be so.

****

It was rare these days, that the crew could wear their dress uniforms. So, they all took the Reed/Cole wedding as an opportunity to do so. Only the bride wore civilian clothes, a white dress that she had borrowed from a friend. She had flowers from the hydroponic garden both in her upswept hair and in a bouquet, and chef had even made a cake. Trip served as best man, with Major Hayes giving the bride away and another female MACO, Corporal McKenzie was the maid of honor.

â€œYou may kiss the bride,â€ said Tâ€™Pol ceremoniously. The room erupted in applause and the party began. The energy in the room was bittersweet, but most people had resolved to try and be happy. Tâ€™Pol had never witnessed a human wedding, let alone performed one, and she watched the various rituals in fascination. Vulcan weddings were solemn, family affairs that did not involve dancing or drinking or toasts.

She sat in the corner, and eventually Trip approached her, two glasses of beer in his hand. He sat next to her and handed her one of the glasses. Wine wasnâ€™t yet possible, but the colonists had started to brew beer. A keg had been brought up from the surface for the celebration.

â€œItâ€™s too bad Captain Archer couldnâ€™t join us,â€ said Trip.

Unlike the previous day, this day had been unpleasant. Phlox had needed to sedate Archer, as he had assumed the story of his illness was a Xindi deception.

â€œYes,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, still watching Malcolm and Amanda dancing.

â€œPhlox is going to return to Denobula,â€ continued Tâ€™Pol, â€œHe believes heâ€™ll have a better chance and finding a cure there.â€

Tripâ€™s face fell, and she sensed disappointment but not surprise.

â€œI canâ€™t say I blame him,â€ said Trip, â€œHeâ€™s stayed with us longer than I expected he would. Heâ€™s got a life and family back on his homeworld.â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded. She looked at Trip, knowing he would never be happy on Vulcan. She had thought of suggesting they go there if Archer were ever cured, but no matter how unhappy he was he wouldnâ€™t abandon his people. And she knew her place was among the humans. As a Vulcan who had formed a matebond with a human, she would be no more accepted by her people than Trip.

They had been very careful about showing affection to one another in public, though they both knew that most of the crew were aware of their relationship. But as he watched the newlyweds together, smiling and laughing as if the world wasnâ€™t on the verge of ending, Trip took Tâ€™Polâ€™s hand in his. Without even thinking, she placed her head on his shoulder and continued to watch her crew celebrate. If anyone among the crew noticed, they didnâ€™t seem to care.

****

A week later Malcolm was taking a break from his work in the armory to head down to the quartermasterâ€™s shop. He had put in a special request two weeks earlier, and he had just been messaged that it was ready. When he was there, he found Trip supervising the fabrication of some conduits.

â€œGood afternoon, Commander,â€ said Malcolm.

â€œHello, Mr. Reed,â€ said Trip, â€œHowâ€™s married life treating you?â€

â€œFine,â€ said Malcolm, â€œExcept that Amanda has decided to redecorate our quarters. She wants to paint the interior seafoam green and yellow. I suspect itâ€™s a Florida thing.â€

Trip laughed.

â€œWe do love our pastels in Florida,â€ said Trip, â€œDid love, I mean.â€

Malcolm walked over to the table where various requests had been fulfilled. He opened a box and pulled out a classic Teddy Bear.

â€œWhat do you think?â€ said Malcolm.

â€œWow,â€ said Trip, â€œIt never ceases to amaze me what fine work is done here.â€

The quartermaster smiled but said nothing, well-used to compliments these days.

â€œAmanda wanted me to order her some clothes first, but I remember caring far more for toys than clothes when I was five,â€ said Malcolm, who paused for a moment, â€œItâ€™s not going to be easy. Amanda and I know that sheâ€™ll be missing her real parents. A teddy bear wonâ€™t fix things, but it will be a start. And Amandaâ€™s already planning on decking our cabin up for an English-style Christmas.â€

â€œIt should be less than a week now,â€ said Trip, â€œYou and Amanda better make use of your alone time until then.â€

Malcolm walked over to Trip and examined his work on the conduits. The quartermaster was excellent, but Trip was no slouch.

â€œWe have been,â€ said Malcolm sheepishly, â€œYou never told me what fun Florida girls are.â€

Malcolm looked around to see if anyone else was in earshot.

â€œHow are things with you and the Captain?â€ asked Malcolm.

Trip paused. It was a strange question for some reason.

â€œWeâ€™re taking it day by day,â€ he said, â€œbut itâ€™s different for Vulcans.â€

â€œThis may sound like a personal question,â€ said Malcolm, â€œbut I heard they only have sex every seven years.â€

Trip shook his head.

â€œNot in my recent experience,â€ he said blushing a little, though he made a mental note that he would have to discuss Vulcan mating with Tâ€™Pol.

â€œThat must be a relief to you,â€ said Malcolm, â€œand frankly every seven years would be a severe waste with a beautiful woman like Tâ€™Pol.â€

â€œIâ€™ll say,â€ said Trip, half-smiling.

****

Later that night, a naked Trip was sprawled on the floor of his cabin with a naked Tâ€™Pol collapsed on top of him. As her breathing began to return to normal, he brushed a damp clump of hair from her face and kissed the tip of her nose.

â€œMay I ask you a question?â€

She nodded.

â€œI thought Vulcans only had sex every seven years. Weâ€™ve had it most every day for weeks. Is the only seven years thing just a rumor?â€

Tâ€™Polâ€™s cheeks turned a pale green color, and he realized she was blushing. She buried her face in his shoulder.

â€œVulcans experience a mating cycle every seven years. During this time we are required to mate or be overcome by the blood fever. However, we can experience sexual arousal outside of the mating cycle, as I have with you.â€

He could feel how difficult this was for her to talk about. Vulcans can be so prudish, thought Trip. He also understood, though the bond, what she wasnâ€™t telling him - how forceful and aggressive this mating ritual was.

â€œI was just curious. . .will you go through this mating cycle soon?â€

â€œI donâ€™t know,â€ she said, â€œVulcan females experience the blood fever in concert with their mates. Because I am bonded with you, I donâ€™t know if or when I will experience it.â€

Trip thought about this, and something dawned on him.

â€œSo, do you get turned on when I am? Because of this bond?â€

She nodded.

â€œI have found it fascinating how often you - and I would assume all human males - experience desire. It is a wonder you get anything done.â€

â€œItâ€™s all about time management,â€ said Trip, but he was really thinking about the Vulcan mating cycle. â€œSo, tell me, what happens if you donâ€™t mate during the blood fever?â€

â€œYou die,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

â€œWhat?â€

â€œThere are other ways to satisfy the blood fever. . . but they are uncommon. A fight to the death. .â€

â€œWhat?â€

She squeezed him tight, clinging to him. That was odd. She was clearly rattled by the discussion.

â€œTrip, Vulcans donâ€™t discuss this with off worlders. . â€œ

â€œI understand that. . .but this concerns me.â€

â€œIf the pon farr comes upon me, we will simply need to engage in sexual relations. Perhaps more aggressively than normal, but that should be all I require of you. . .â€

â€œOkay, baby,â€ he said.

He knew that she had initially expected sex between them to be more violent than it was, and now he was understanding why. No wonder Vulcans never talked about this. The fact that they were into rough sex sure punctured their high-and-mighty image.

â€œIt is also possible you may experience the blood fever, at least partially, due to our bond.â€

Trip took a deep breath. He didnâ€™t like the idea of losing control or possibly hurting her.

â€œBecause you are not Vulcan, it will likely not be nearly as dangerous for you. . â€œ

â€œOkay,â€ he said, â€œWeâ€™ll deal with it if and when it comes along.â€

****

Tâ€™Pol and Trip stood formally at the airlock, waiting to greet the new arrivals. Just behind them stood Malcolm and Amanda, less formally and more nervously. Tâ€™Pol, in discussions with a human psychologist on the surface, had decided that the children would meet their new caregivers individually. Malcolm and Amanda, in deference to his being a senior officer, were going first.

Soval would be personally escorting the children chosen to live on Enterprise onto the ship. He also wanted to speak with Tâ€™Pol, no doubt to try and convince her to return to Vulcan yet again. He appeared in the doorway alongside a tiny human girl clutching a backpack, the one Tâ€™Pol had seen in the picture.

Tâ€™Pol nodded at Soval and gestured to Malcolm and Amanda. The childâ€™s transfer should be the first priority.

Soval spoke to the girl.

â€œLily, this is Lt. Commander Reed and his wife Corporal Cole,â€ said Soval.

Malcolm knelt next to the child.

â€œYou can call me Malcolm,â€ he said, â€œand you can call her Amanda.â€

The little girl smiled when she heard his accent.

â€œHello,â€ she said, very British-ly.

â€œItâ€™s wonderful to meet you. Amanda and I would like to show you your room. Then, weâ€™ll get you something to eat. Would you like that?â€

Lily nodded.

â€œYes, sir,â€ she said softly.

Amanda held out her hand, and the little girl took it.

â€œItâ€™s very nice to meet you, Lily,â€ she said.

Malcolm stood up and took Lilyâ€™s other hand and the new family disappeared down the corridor.

This ritual was repeated multiple times over, finally culminating in Hoshi carrying a sleeping five-year old boy back to her quarters.

â€œSoval,â€ said Tâ€™Pol finally turning to her former superior, â€œOur chef has prepared a meal in your honor. Please dine with us in the Captainâ€™s mess.â€

â€œThank you, Tâ€™Pol.â€

Trip was irritated that he didnâ€™t address her as Captain, but he said nothing. He simply followed the two Vulcans toward the turbolift.

****

Several hours later, Tâ€™Pol alone escorted Soval back to the airlock.

â€œYou wonâ€™t reconsider? Not this time?â€

â€œMy obligations are here.â€

Tâ€™Pol locked eyes with Soval. She wondered if he had guessed that she had bonded with Commander Tucker. If he had, he hadnâ€™t indicated as such.

â€œYour loyalty is admirable but misplaced. They are a dying people.â€

Tâ€™Pol responded by lifting her hand in the traditional Vulcan salute.

â€œLive long and prosper,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

Soval responded in kind.

â€œLive long and prosper, Tâ€™Pol.â€

He turned and headed into his shuttle. Tâ€™Pol had no regrets as the door closed behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost Two Years Later

  
Author's notes: Almost Two Years Later  


* * *

All the children who lived on Enterprise had gathered for a celebration. It was Lily St. John Reedâ€™s seventh birthday, and by way of celebration they were having a Winnie-the-Pooh themed party, including traditional British tea and stuffed animal guests.

Captain Jonathan Archer looked down at the guest of honor, who was clutching the very same teddy bear that her parents had given her the first night she had arrived on Enterprise.

â€œI like your bear,â€ said Archer.

â€œYou say that every time you meet him,â€ said Lily, matter-of-fact-ly.

Archer smiled.

â€œSo, you and I know each other?â€

Lily nodded rigorously.

â€œBut you never remember. Your memory is broken. But you are always nice.â€

Archer smiled.

â€œIâ€™m glad to hear that,â€ said Archer.

â€œOnce,â€ said Lily, â€œPorthos got my Pooh in his mouth. You rescued him. Then you told me to forgive Porthos because he was just playing with him and wasnâ€™t trying to hurt him. Then, my mum stitched Pooh up.â€

â€œThat sounds like quite a day,â€ said Archer.

â€œIt was. Would you tell me about the time you rescued my daddy from the Romulan mine?â€

Archer was surprised that the little girl had heard the story of the minefield, especially considering how badly Malcolm had been hurt. Then again, he thought that maybe the fact that Malcolm had come through danger unhurt was comforting to a girl who lived such a grim existence.

â€œWell. . .Iâ€™ve told you this before?â€

Lily nodded. Archer thought he best be as truthful as possible, given that he couldnâ€™t remember if he had glossed over anything or exaggerated a plot point. He also hoped that he had done the same thing previously. He glanced across the room, where Malcolm sat with his wife, Corporal Cole.

â€œOkay. . .well, as you know, we werenâ€™t meaning to do anything more than explore a planet that day. . .

***

Trip rang the chime on the door of Tâ€™Polâ€™s quarters. As Captain, she had promised to make an appearance at Lilyâ€™s party, but Trip had not seen her since the morning briefing. He did have the code to her quarters, but his instincts told him to ring this time. He didnâ€™t know precisely why.

â€œCome in,â€ said Tâ€™Pol softly.

He did, and he found her lying face down on her bed. She didnâ€™t even lift her head, which was resting on her hands which were in turn resting on the pillow.

â€œAre you okay, Captain?â€

â€œI am unwell. I have a fever,â€ she said.

â€œIâ€™ll get you to the doctor,â€ said Trip.

â€œIâ€™ve already seen Dr. Sanders this afternoon,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œShe prescribed the hypospray on the table. Would you bring it to me?â€

Tâ€™Pol gradually sat up and onto the edge of the bed. Trip brought her the hypospray.

â€œYou want me to administer it?â€

She nodded, and he pressed the device into her neck.

â€œWhat did she give you? An analgesic?â€

â€œShe mixed it with a mild tranquilizer and . . .and a dose of regulatory hormones. .but that dose is the last one likely to work.â€

She looked into his eyes, and he immediately understood. The blood fever was coming upon her. He sensed that she was scared, really scared of what was happening to her. He gathered her into his arms.

â€œItâ€™s okay,â€ he said, â€œYou donâ€™t have to go anywhere. Weâ€™ll take care of this just like we talked about. . .Iâ€™m here.â€

She placed her head on his shoulder.

â€œOnce the hypospray begins to take effect, I shall be fine for a couple of hours. I donâ€™t want the crew to know anything is amiss yet. Dr. Sanders has agreed to tell Lt. Commander Reed we are both ill and confined to quarters for the next 48 hours, but before that I wish to file my reports for President Borges and arrange for Lt. Sato to handle Captain Archer for the next few days.â€

â€œOkay, Captain,â€ he said, â€œYouâ€™re the boss. Is there anything I can do in the meantime?â€

â€œStay near me,â€ she said, â€œand let me know if you begin to experience symptoms through me.â€

He squeezed her tight.

â€œI can do that, baby,â€ he whispered.

Minutes later, she had stopped sweating. She washed her face in the bathroom, squared her shoulders and looked very Vulcan.

â€œI only have a few hours,â€ she said, â€œWe must hurry.â€

****

Tâ€™Pol and Trip slipped into the mess hall, barely noticed. The children were sitting in a circle around Jonathan Archer and Malcolm Reed, who were both telling the story of the Romulan minefield, each adding their own perspective. The children, who had all heard the story before, â€œoooohedâ€ and â€œaaaahedâ€ at various points and Lily even buried her face in her hands when they came to part where the section of the hull detached with the two men aboard.

Amanda, dressed in civilian clothes, approached her commanding officers.

â€œCan I offer either of you birthday cake?â€ she asked, smiling.

Trip had expected Tâ€™Pol to decline, but she nodded yes.

â€œIâ€™ll take some, too,â€ said Trip.

As Amanda fetched the cake, Trip searched Tâ€™Polâ€™s face. She was losing her impulse control, he could feel it.

As the story concluded, the children applauded and Lily climbed into her fatherâ€™s lap. Jonathan approached Trip and Tâ€™Pol.

â€œDo you remember speaking with me earlier today?â€ asked Tâ€™Pol.

â€œI do,â€ he said, â€œbut I havenâ€™t seen you today, Trip, have I?â€

â€œNot that I remember, Sir,â€ said Trip, smiling.

It was a good day when Jonathan Archer accepted his situation with humor.

â€œHow are you, then?â€ asked the former Captain.

â€œAs well as can be expected, under the circumstances.â€

â€œAre any of these kids yours?â€ asked Archer.

â€œNah,â€ said Trip, â€œThe little boy, Michio, heâ€™s Hoshiâ€™s. And of course, you know Lily. But Iâ€™m just everyoneâ€™s Uncle.â€

â€œKids on a Starship,â€ said Archer, â€œWho would have ever thought?â€

Trip shook his head. It wasnâ€™t ideal, but the children sure had brightened up the awful day to day existence since Earthâ€™s destruction. Trip glanced over at Tâ€™Pol, who was still savoring her cake. He knew he needed to get her up to the bridge to finish her reports and soon. After that, he hoped she could focus on getting herself well.

â€œExcuse me, Captain,â€ said Trip, â€œI need to speak to Malcolm for a second.â€

Trip and Malcolm had developed an even closer working relationship than they had had before in the preceding two years. All Trip had to do was gesture slightly, and Malcolm knew Trip needed to speak with him alone. He put Lily gently off his lap and sent her to the corner where a few of the children were petting Porthos.

â€œWhatâ€™s up, Commander?â€

â€œTâ€™Polâ€™s got a Vulcan illness. Itâ€™s not catching, but sheâ€™s going to be out of it for the next two days. And Iâ€™m the one thatâ€™s going to have to nurse her back to health.â€

Malcolm squinted at this. He was trying to imagine what peculiar Vulcan illness would require the First Officerâ€™s attention. Or the de-facto husband. Malcolm guessed that it was the latter role that Trip was going to be fulfilling. Fortunately, the two of them had several times visited the planet together for meetings with President Borges, and Malcolm had done fine while in command.

â€œYou know I can handle it. Are you sure sheâ€™ll be okay?â€ asked Malcolm, glancing over at the Captain.

â€œDr. Sanders thinks so,â€ said Trip.

Malcolm nodded, hoping that there would be no pirate attacks or any other trouble while Tâ€™Pol was sick.

****

Once the reports had all been filed, and Hoshi had agreed to visit Archer the next two mornings, Trip and Tâ€™Pol headed toward her quarters. Trip noticed that sweat was again beginning to form on her neck and at her temples. While they were in the turbolift, she boldly put her arms around him. He expected a kiss, but instead she put her fingers at his temple and he felt her created a telepathic link. Suddenly, he was awash in the fever that had gripped her.

When she saw that her link had been successful, she smiled a little, and then Trip was truly scared for her. She was losing control, and it wasnâ€™t a good thing for her. But thanks to the link, he knew what he needed to do.

â€œLetâ€™s get you to your quarters, now,â€ he said forcefully.

The turbolift door opened and she pulled him out toward her quarters. Trip looked around, but most people were either on duty or at the party, which after the children had all been taken to bed, had turned into a grown-up gathering.

â€œDonâ€™t touch me,â€ he ordered, just in case they ran into anyone.

He knew the last thing she would want was someone observing her un-Vulcan behavior.

â€œYou go first,â€ he said, â€œand Iâ€™ll follow.â€

She did exactly as she was told, but a few times during the walk, she turned to look at him, as if to be sure the link had been effective.

It had. Trip was more in control than she was but not by much.

As soon as they got to her quarters, he shut and locked the door behind them.

She turned to look at him with wide eyes. He saw none of the logic and serenity he usually found there. He saw animalistic lust, but behind that there was something else. She was being gripped by this blood fever, but beneath it she was scared. This was a life or death matter, and on top of that her emotions were unraveling.

She approached him, but he held his hand up.

â€œTake off your clothes,â€ he said.

She smiled again, just slightly, and started to obey his orders. Meanwhile, he strode into the bathroom and turned on the faucet in the small shower. He wanted to at least try and sooth the literal fever that was gripping her before getting down to business. A cold shower would at least bring down her body temperature.

She appeared behind him, naked.

â€œGet under the water,â€ he ordered.

She snapped something in Vulcan, but she did as he asked. As soon as the cold spray hit her body, she closed her eyes. He could tell it was soothing her, but it certainly wasnâ€™t curing her.

She again said something in Vulcan and opened her eyes. He was still fully dressed, but she pulled him under the water with her. Their lips met, and he quickly lost whatever control he had been clinging to.

****

Trip awoke on the floor of her quarters, naked but covered by a blanket. Every inch of his body hurt as though he had been in a bad fight. What wasnâ€™t cut was bruised. Then remembered that it wasnâ€™t a fight. At least, not technically. Pon Farr. Blood Fever. No wonder the Vulcans never talked about it. It represented everything they fought against in their own primal nature. He recalled the first time he had had sex with her, and he remembered her expectations had been of a violent act. No wonder.

He sat up. Water was running in the bathroom. He made his way there and saw her tending to a green scrape on her elbow. He also saw that she had a bronze-colored bruise on her cheek, and though it was accidental, he was appalled with himself that he had been the cause.

â€œLet me help you,â€ he said and he took the antiseptic cloth from her and gently cleaned the wound.

â€œCan you remember English?â€ he asked softly.

â€œYes,â€ she said, clearly thankful that the worst was behind them, â€œThank you. Thank you for everything.â€

He smiled at her.

â€œThatâ€™s what bondmates are for,â€ he said, applying a bandage to her wound, â€œIâ€™m sorry for hurting you.â€

â€œYou saved my life,â€ she said simply.

She began tending to his wounds, cleaning and bandaging a cut on his eye before focusing on the many scratches on his back.

â€œHow are you feeling? I know weâ€™re through the worst of this, but do you think youâ€™ll be all better by tomorrow?â€

She nodded.

â€œAlready, I feel my serotonin levels returning to normal.â€

When she was through bandaging him up, he led her to her bed and made her slip under the covers. He joined her, putting his arms gently around her.

â€œYou acquitted yourself well, husband,â€ said Tâ€™Pol sleepily, â€œA Vulcan could not have done better.â€

Trip almost brought up that they werenâ€™t officially married, but then he realized that according to her culture, they were. That was what this business had been all about.

As she drifted off to sleep, he gently brushed the bruise on her cheek and was very grateful this would only happen every seven years.


	7. Chapter 7

Amanda Cole-Reed was curled up on the bathroom floor, hoping the last of the sickness had passed. Malcolm stood in the doorway, with Lily at his side.

â€œAre you sure we canâ€™t help at all?â€

â€œNo,â€ said Amanda, â€œbut youâ€™re sweet to offer.â€

â€œIâ€™d be happy to hold your head next time,â€ said Malcolm.

â€œYouâ€™ve done enough,â€ snapped Amanda, â€œand you need to get to the command briefing. Especially since the captain and first officer are returning to duty this morning.â€

Malcolm folded his arms, and he sighed. He looked down at Lily, whose eyes were wide.

â€œPromise to get Mummy anything she needs?â€

Lily nodded and smiled. Amandaâ€™s sickness had come and gone over the past three days, so she was no longer concerned for her motherâ€™s well-being.

â€œIâ€™ll see you this afternoon then,â€ said Malcolm, â€œand remember to tell Hayes about the limits Sanders has put on your training.â€

Amanda nodded. With that, Malcolm kissed the top of Lilyâ€™s head and disappeared out the door.

****

When Malcolm finally arrived to the morning briefing, only three minutes late, he nearly did a double take. Trip and Tâ€™Pol both appeared to have been in some sort of an accident. Trip had a cut on his eye, and she had a bruise on her cheek. He found himself wondering what kind of peculiar Vulcan illness would cause cuts and bruises.

â€œSorry for being late,â€ said Malcolm.

Trip glanced at the chronometer.

â€œThree whole minutes,â€ he said, â€œbut then again, I canâ€™t recall you ever being late before.â€

Malcolm smiled.

â€œAmandaâ€™s sick,â€ he said.

â€œWhat is the illness?â€ asked Tâ€™Pol, â€œHas she seen the doctor? Is it contagious?â€

Malcolm shook his head.

â€œSheâ€™s seen the doctor, and she should be fine by now,â€ he paused and then smirked, â€œItâ€™s morning sickness.â€

Trip grinned, and Tâ€™Pol raised an eyebrow. Vulcan women didnâ€™t get morning sickness, but Tâ€™Pol had learned of it since three of the other female crew members had become pregnant.

â€œThat is agreeable news, Lt. Commander Reed,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

â€œCongratulations,â€ said Trip, â€œItâ€™s about time.â€

â€œWe wanted to wait until Lily felt like she was really one of the family. Four months ago she started calling us Mum and Dad, so we thought then it was a good time for her to get a sibling. Sheâ€™s excited to have a little brother.â€

â€œSo it is boy?â€ said Trip.

Malcolm nodded. Then, he looked at the two of them again. He knew better than to ask why they were so battered, but he still felt he needed to say something.

â€œHow are the two of you? Feeling better?â€

They glanced at each other, quickly.

â€œI am well,â€ she said.

â€œAll fine,â€ said Trip, sipping his coffee.

â€œIâ€™ve not yet read your report of the previous two days,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œIs there anything critical I should know about?â€

â€œIt was quiet. In fact, we havenâ€™t had a major incident with pirates in at least six weeks. So, I think we should be prepared for one soon. They usually come in intervals of six to eight weeks, though that hasnâ€™t always been the case. Sometimes the window is smaller, sometimes larger, as you both know.â€

The three continued discussing security concerns, weapons upgrades and the recent intelligence reports about the Xindi positions.

****

Archer had been trouble when Tâ€™Pol was indisposed. The first day, he had accused Hoshi of being an alien impostor and had to be subdued by security before he hurt her. The second day, he had fallen into a deep despair and attempted to take his own life. He spent the rest of that day under deep sedation in sickbay. Dr. Sanders, who was quite young but one of only a handful of trained human physicians left, had suggested they keep Archer sedated.

â€œI cannot allow that,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, who found the notion both cruel and disrespectful.

â€œCaptain,â€ said the young doctor, â€œit would make your life and everyone. . .â€

â€œNo,â€ she said.

Dr. Sanders was an attractive, red-headed woman, about Tâ€™Polâ€™s height but a little rounder and stockier with green eyes and freckles.

â€œHow are you?â€ she asked, changing the subject. â€œIt seems you and Commander Tucker came through your cycle none the worse for wear? Have you experienced any residual symptoms?â€

Tâ€™Pol thought about this for a moment.

â€œI am still fatigued, but other than that I am fine.â€

â€œIf you need more time to rest, take it,â€ ordered the doctor, â€œor Iâ€™ll order you to.â€

â€œThat wonâ€™t be necessary,â€ replied Tâ€™Pol, â€œbut I will retire early this evening.â€

â€œIâ€™m going to ask Commander Tucker to keep a careful eye on you,â€ she said, â€œI understand that is appropriate, given your relationship with each other.â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded. Dr. Sanders knew little of Vulcans before taking over for Phlox, but she had studied his notes as well as the Vulcan database.

â€œSecurity to Captain Tâ€™Pol,â€ came the voice over the com.

â€œTâ€™Pol here,â€ replied the Captain.

â€œCaptain Archer has awakened. We told him you would arrive soon to answer his questions.â€

â€œIâ€™ll be right there,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

â€œLet me know if you need me,â€ said Sanders, sympathetically.

With that, Tâ€™Pol lifted herself off the bio bed and headed to the door. She ran into Hoshi on the way.

â€œLt. Sato,â€ she asked, â€œAre you well?â€

â€œOh,â€ said Hoshi, â€œIâ€™m fine. I was just assisting the doctor on a project. Translating some of the more complex interspecies medical files.â€

â€œVery good,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œCarry on.â€

â€œThank you, Captain,â€ said Hoshi.

****

An hour later, Tâ€™Pol sat across from Jonathan Archer. She had told him the entire, horrible story. Over the past years, she had learned that it was best to tell it quickly and without much embellishment. She also believed her Vulcan nature helped the story go down easier.

Archer went to his window, where he could see the planet below.

â€œSo there a human settlement down there?â€ he asked.

â€œThere are approximately 6,000 humans living on Ceti Alpha V,â€ she said, â€œThe is a small United Earth Government, let by President Antonio Borges.â€

Archer leaned his head against the window, for a moment she feared he would collapse. He didnâ€™t.

â€œHowâ€™s the crew?â€

â€œThose that survived the conflict are well. Phlox returned to Denobula two years ago. A young intern who was part of a Tellarite medical exchange program replaced him. She has proved a very quick learner. Our situation has given her much experience. You have been impressed, the times you have met her.â€

Tâ€™Pol didnâ€™t think it was necessary to mention the many times their new doctor had had to sedate him.

â€œHowâ€™s Trip?â€ said Archer, â€œHe survived, didnâ€™t he?â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded.

â€œHe is well. He has proved invaluable to me as a first officer.â€

Archer sighed.

â€œThat doesnâ€™t surprise me at all. Do you think heâ€™d come by?â€

â€œHe usually does, on the days you request it.â€

The conversation continued, until Tâ€™Pol could no longer spare anymore time.

****

About a week later, Tâ€™Pol was walking in the hall near sickbay, and she saw Dr. Sanders and Lt. Sato together. Something about the way they were interacting made her hang back around a curve and not let her presence be known. Firstly, her position often made people nervous, and secondly, their body language was strange to her. She watched for awhile, and then saw the two women kiss each other, not as friends, but as mates.

Tâ€™Pol remained hidden around the corner until they separated. Her keen Vulcan hearing did make out their conversation.

â€œIâ€™ll see you later, sweetie,â€ said Dr. Sanders.

â€œDonâ€™t be late,â€ smiled Hoshi, who headed toward Tâ€™Pol.

Tâ€™Pol continued down the hall as if she had heard nothing.

â€œGood evening, Lt,â€ she said, walking by.

â€œHi Captain,â€ said Hoshi cheerfully.

Tâ€™Pol was not offended, as several human members of the crew had paired off with members of their own gender. Same sex mating was a common enough phenomena among humans, and even existed among Vulcans. One of the few grounds for the dissolution of a Vulcan marriage was the inability of one partner to form a matebond with the other, often because a bond already existed with a third party. Sometimes those extra-marital bonds were formed with a member of the same gender. However, when Vulcans bonded it was for life. Hoshi had until recently been mated with Corporal Hawkins. Tâ€™Pol knew they had separated, and he was now seeing another woman. But she was surprised at Hoshiâ€™s new relationship.

That night, she broached the subject with Trip while they were lying in bed, enjoying the closeness of their matebond.

â€œWell, Iâ€™ll be damned. No wonder Hoshiâ€™s been loitering around sickbay so much lately,â€ he laughed, â€œGood for her. Hawkins didnâ€™t treat her right.â€™

Tâ€™Pol remained puzzled.

â€œYou donâ€™t have same sex couples on Vulcan?â€

â€œWe do, but we are generally not. . .flexible in regards to which gender we are attracted to.â€

Trip pulled her closer and ran his fingers through her hair. Through their bond, he could tell that the same sex thing didnâ€™t bother her nearly as much as the general idea of rotating partners.

â€œHumans are flexible I mean, most of us go one way or another, but the consensus is that we all have an ability to be. . .flexible under the right circumstances. Some people are more open to it than others. Clearly, Hoshiâ€™s just open.â€

Tâ€™Pol sat up and looked him in the eyes.

â€œHave you ever been flexible?â€

Trip smiled.

â€œNo. Not that I didnâ€™t have opportunity, but Iâ€™ve just always preferred girls. . .my brother Bert went the other way. He was married to man, and they adopted a little boy. . .we kind of had a deal when we were young. I had dibs on the girls and he the boys.â€

Trip spoke wistfully as he remembered his dead brother.

â€œIâ€™m sorry to bring up unpleasant thoughts,â€ she said, putting her head on his shoulder.

â€œTheyâ€™re not unpleasant,â€ he said, â€œJust sad. Albert was my big brother. He always looked out for me. Taught me how to deal with bullies - ironically, he also taught me how to talk to girls. I guess he knew how because he preferred talking to them over dating them. I do miss him.â€

â€œI had no siblings,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

â€œWas that lonely?â€ he asked.

â€œI have nothing to compare it to,â€ she said logically.

â€œI loved having siblings. Lizzie and Bert were like ready-made friends. All three of us were pretty tight. . . you know, Iâ€™d give anything to have them back. But I canâ€™t think of people Iâ€™d rather have as my new family . . .you. . .Malcolm and Amanda. . .Hoshi. . .if weâ€™ve got to be stuck in this existence. . .Iâ€™m glad to be stuck with all of you.â€

Tâ€™Pol cuddled up to him. Even after the years had passed, she always felt terrible sorrow in Trip. But when he spoke of her and the others as a new family, the sorrow faded.

â€œI love you,â€ he whispered in her ear.

She buried her face in his chest. By now, she knew he needed to say those words, but it was antithetical to her culture. She knew he loved her, and he knew she loved him back. That was what the bond created between them. But he was still human, and she had to say it. She took a deep breath.

â€œAnd I love you,â€ she said softly.

â€œThanks, darlinâ€™,â€ he said, as they drifted off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

The pirates had been destroyed, thanks in no small part to the efforts of Enterprise and The Endeavor, both which took damage but prevailed in the melee with three small, swift ships. The first time the surviving humans had encountered pirates, they had merely beaten back the little ships and hoped that would be enough. But inevitably, the pirates would return with a stronger, bigger fleet. So, Captain Tâ€™Pol had given the order for Enterprise and The Endeavor not to just defend the colony but to aggressively destroy the pirate ships. While this strategy didnâ€™t stop the attacks, it lessened their frequency.

â€œReport, Commander,â€ she said in the comm.

â€œMinimal damage, Captain,â€ said Trip, â€œWe should be back to normal in about three hours.â€

â€œUnderstood,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œGood Work, Lt. Commander Reed,â€ said Tâ€™Pol as she headed into her ready room.

Malcolm watched her go. He had always respected Tâ€™Pol, but now he felt that none of them would be alive without her. Her application of logic in the most difficult of situations had been their saving grace more than once. He was very grateful, as most of the crew was, especially since she could have long ago fled to the safety of Vulcan.

Malcolm tapped the comm.

â€œCorporal Cole, do you have a report?â€

â€œNo enemies reached the ground, sir,â€ replied Amanda in her professional tone, â€œSo, the MACOs will be returning to the ships within the hour.â€

â€œGood,â€ said Malcolm, â€œReed out.â€

Amanda could no longer be a part of the combat teams, given her condition, but she was adept at coordinating operations. Since several previous pirate attacks managed to land people on the surface, it had become standard to dispatch MACOs to the surface.

Malcolm and Amanda had talked about moving to the surface, once the baby was born, but they had decided against it. The ship already had the ten children that had been adopted, and four others had been born. Enterprise was becoming a generational ship, and their new son would be a part of it. It wasnâ€™t an ideal future, but then no oneâ€™s future was ideal.

****

Tâ€™Polâ€™s conversation with Archer later that day was intense. He questioned her about everything from the motivation of the Xindi to the nature of the attack to the physiology of his own illness. She answered each question patiently, but when she got up to leave and attend to her other duties, he tried to stop her.

This was a common enough occurrence, and she remained calm.

â€œCaptain,â€ she said softly, â€œIâ€™ve other duties on this ship. If you like, Iâ€™ll send Lt. Sato in to answer any more of your questions. . .â€

â€œLieutenant Sato?â€ replied Archer skeptically.

â€œTwo and a half years have past. . .â€

The room began to spin, and Tâ€™Pol grabbed the edge of the desk to keep her balance.

â€œTâ€™Pol are you okay?â€ asked Archer, anger disappearing from his voice.

â€œNo,â€ she said as blackness consumed her.

Archer managed to keep her from falling, and he swept her into his arms. He opened the door to his quarters and told the officers he was taking her to sickbay. The guards made no protest, one merely followed the former captain as he carried the current one. In the turbolift, Tâ€™Polâ€™s eyes opened.

â€œWhat happened?â€

â€œI donâ€™t know,â€ said Archer, â€œIâ€™m getting you to Phlox.â€

However, when he arrived at sickbay, Archer found a red-headed human woman in place of Phlox.

â€œWhat happened, Captain Archer?â€ asked Dr. Sanders.

â€œShe blacked out,â€ said Archer, who gently placed Tâ€™Pol on the biobed.

â€œCould you stand back, Captain Archer?â€ said Sanders, who gently began examining Tâ€™Pol and taking vitals, â€œDid you get hit or bumped during the combat this morning, Captain?â€

â€œNo,â€ said Archer.

Sanders bit her lip. She always tried to refer to the two captains by name, so as not to cause Archer undue stress.

â€œI wasnâ€™t talking to you,â€ she said.

â€œNo, I am unharmedâ€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œand I am feeling well again. I should return to the bridge.â€

â€œNot quite yet,â€ replied Sanders, â€œI think you ought to get some fluids in you and rest for a bit. And while youâ€™re here, Captain Archer, I might as well take a look at you. Last time we met, I found you to be in near perfect health, aside from your memory issue.â€

â€œHow long has Phlox been gone?â€

â€œAbout two years,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, who was starting to feel better.

â€œAll of your vitals are normal, and you donâ€™t appear to have hit your head. Have you been eating?â€ asked Sanders.

â€œMy behavior has been as it always has been,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, glancing over at Archer.

â€œWell,â€ said Sanders, â€œIâ€™m going to have a steward bring you down some of your favorite tea, and I want you to drink it. Then, Iâ€™ll let you get back to the bridge.â€

Sanders then turned to Captain Archer and began examining him, patiently answering all his questions about her background and how she had survived the Xindi attack.

****

An hour and a half later, Tâ€™Pol left Archer in Sanders's care and headed toward the bridge. She ran smack into Trip as he was exiting the turbolift.

â€œI was just coming to see you,â€ he said, â€œAre you all right?â€

She nodded.

â€œIt was merely a dizzy spell. Due to the stress of the recent attacks, I may require more meditation,â€ she said.

The hallway was empty, so he put his hand on her cheek. It was Vulcan warm, but she didnâ€™t seem fevered.

â€œI assure you,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œDr. Sanders did not find anything wrong with me.â€

Trip searched both her face and briefly her mind for any sign of deception, and he found none. He then looked around to see if anyone was watching. They werenâ€™t, so he planted a kiss on her lips.

â€œIâ€™ll see you tonight?â€

She nodded, and she entered the turbolift, which was on its way up rather than down. She returned to the bridge to finish her shift.

Two days later, Dr. Saunders summoned Tâ€™Pol back to sickbay. Her message was vague, so Tâ€™Pol assumed it was shipâ€™s business the doctor needed to talk about. She arrived to find the doctor examining some instruments and no patients on any of the biobeds. It was a good day, when no one was sick or injured.

â€œSit down, Captain,â€ said Dr. Sanders, gesturing to the bio bed.

Tâ€™Pol realized that she had been summoned as a patient, so she obeyed the doctor.

â€œI was looking over your blood test from the other day and something struck me as odd. Not bad. Just. . .unusual.â€

Tâ€™Pol was silent.

â€œAt first, I thought it was a residual hormonal imbalance from your recent mating cycle. But then, I did some checking in the Vulcan medical database. So, I want to run one quick test on you to see if I can explain this.â€

Dr. Sanders approached Tâ€™Pol with a medical tricorder, and she took a skin sample from Tâ€™Polâ€™s palm.

â€œAm I ill, doctor?â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

Vulcans spoke little about pon farr or its potential health consequences, so she didnâ€™t know if she was at risk for anything. Dr. Sanders appeared to be studying her instruments carefully.

â€œYouâ€™re not ill. According to this, youâ€™re pregnant.â€

â€œThatâ€™s not possible,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, calmly, â€œYour data must be incorrect.â€

Dr. Sanders nodded.

â€œItâ€™s possible that you are experiencing a phantom pregnancy. After going through Pon Farr, your body simply expected to be pregnant so it is producing the appropriate hormones. But thereâ€™s nothing in this test that says you arenâ€™t pregnant.â€

Tâ€™Pol kept her Vulcan calm since she was certain this was a mistake.

â€œHumans and Vulcans have never mated successfully,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

Dr. Sanders nodded.

â€œIâ€™ve looked into that, but you also need to remember that there have been very few attempts at Vulcan/Human mating. As near as I can see, in the last hundred years there have been only a handful of documented cases of Human/Vulcan sexual relations, and only five of them have occurred during pon farr. Thatâ€™s hardly a definitive number, and in all five of the pon farr cases, it was a human female mating with a Vulcan male.â€

Tâ€™Pol was unmoved by this.

â€œWe are biologically incompatible,â€ she said calmly.

Dr. Sanders nodded.

â€œIt would seem so. However, there is a documented case of a Vulcan/Andorian hybrid child being conceived naturally. And Vulcans and Andorians are even further apart genetically than Vulcans and Humans. But both the Vulcan mother and the Andorian father carried an unusual gene mutation that allowed for fertilization. It was estimated that only 1 in 100,000 Vulcans carried it and 1 in 75,000 Andorians.â€

Tâ€™Pol thought carefully about this news. She wasnâ€™t sure if she was more surprised at the idea of a Vulcan and Andorian mating at all or the fact that they had a child. She briefly wondered how such a pairing had happened.

â€œHereâ€™s what I suggest,â€ said Dr. Sanders, â€œThink of yourself as pregnant until next month, when Iâ€™ll be able to put you in the imaging chamber and find out of if this pregnancy is real or not. Donâ€™t drink alcohol, avoid radiation and try not to stress out. You donâ€™t need to tell anyone, except of course Commander Tucker. If next month, we learn this is a false alarm, then no harm, no foul. But if it isnâ€™t, then you will have done the right thing.â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded in agreement, certain that it was a false alarm.

â€œYou have suggested a logical course,â€ she said.

â€œDonâ€™t hesitate to come to sickbay if you need anything or have any questions,â€ said Dr. Sanders.

â€œThank you, Doctor,â€ she said formally and headed back toward the bridge.

On the way up, she briefly considered the remote possibility that this was not a false alarm. However, it was a completely illogical notion, so she put it out of her mind. On the way, she passed a cheerful looking Amanda Cole, who had just started showing the signs of her pregnancy.

Tâ€™Pol felt a tinge of regret. She would likely be a mother by now, had she returned to Vulcan and married Koss. Even though she knew what she had been giving up, sometimes the thought of it still made her feel a bit empty.

****

Since the strange visit to Dr. Sanders, Tâ€™Pol had accessed all the Vulcan serenity she had and then returned to her quarters for additional meditation. Since her fainting spell, she had added an extra 40 minutes of meditation to her daily schedule. Twenty minutes in the morning, twenty in the evening. It had helped center her, and she knew it had allowed her to deal with her phantom pregnancy with appropriate logic.

As she stared at the candle, she thought about what to tell Trip. He would be able to tell if she was suppressing information, but on the other hand, she did not want to upset or alarm him. He might not react with the same logic as her, which would make him anxious for the next month. The situation presented a quite a quandary.

The door opened, and she didnâ€™t move. Trip had long ago stopped ringing the chime, since they essentially shared both their quarters. She didnâ€™t move, and he sat down across from her on the floor.

â€œWhatâ€™s on your mind?â€ he said, tentatively.

â€œI donâ€™t wish to speak of it yet,â€ she said, honestly.

He searched her face, and it was as usual impossible to read. Her thoughts were a little easier at this point.

â€œYou saw the doctor,â€ he said.

She looked at him, but said nothing.

â€œI know, you donâ€™t want to talk about it. . .but just tell me youâ€™re okay.â€

He placed his hand in hers, and she felt the worry in him.

â€œIâ€™m fine. Iâ€™m just experiencing a side effect of. . .of my recent . . .â€

She never stuttered, unless she was talking about something Vulcans didnâ€™t talk about.

â€œI get it. What kind of side effect?â€

â€œA hormonal imbalance. It was likely responsible for my fainting spell. Dr. Sanders believes it will work itself out.â€

â€œShe canâ€™t fix it? Sounds like it would be pretty easy to. . .â€

Trip started to sense something bigger going on. The truth popped into his head, most likely because she wanted him to know. His jaw dropped open. She felt shock in him.

â€œIt is unlikely to be true. It is most probably a false alarm.â€

Tâ€™Pol explained everything the doctor had told her, and Trip stood up and pulled her into a hug. It wasnâ€™t what she needed, but she sensed that he needed it.

â€œWhat are the odds? That itâ€™s true?â€

â€œVery slim, which is why I did not wish to tell you.â€

He squeezed her tight, and she sensed the most peculiar mix of hope and anxiety from him as the earlier shock faded.

â€œI thought you did not wish to bring a child into this existence.â€

â€œI donâ€™t,â€ he said, â€œIt wouldnâ€™t be logical, but. . .I donâ€™t know. Maybe humans arenâ€™t logical about this stuff. Now that thereâ€™s a chance. . . I half want it to be true. Half not. â€œ

â€œA slim chance,â€ she said again.

â€œBut not impossible,â€ said Trip, â€œWe should talk about what to do, if it is true.â€

He led her to the bed, where they sat down, together. He sensed she thought speculating on such an unlikely outcome was illogical, but he disagreed. In fact, he had a very strong instinct that she was in denial. For whatever reason, his human instincts told him that this wasnâ€™t a false alarm.

â€œI guess weâ€™ll just have to do what Malcolm and Amanda and the others are doing. . .â€

â€œThe child would be half Vulcan and therefor different from all the other children. . .and we donâ€™t know how human or how Vulcan he or she would be . . .â€

Her voice trailed off.

â€œWell,â€ he said getting up, â€œI suppose the answers will just present themselves. I need a shower. Care to join?â€

She nodded and took his hand. Unlike most nights, they didnâ€™t engage in sexual relations. Instead, as they curled up together, Trip gradually got her to talk about the possibility that her condition was not a phantom.


	9. Chapter 9

Trip paced outside the imaging chamber, like the expectant father he was sure he was. Tâ€™Polâ€™s symptoms had not lessened in the previous month, and even she was beginning to doubt her pregnancy was a false one. Dr. Sanders began tapping into the control and looking at the readings.

â€œHowâ€™s Hoshi?â€ asked Trip, by way of conversation.

Dr. Sanders smiled, amazed at how fast word got around the ship. She had let Hoshi, who was the person everyone on the ship knew and loved, be the one to begin telling people about them. They had attended the last three movie nights together, as well.

â€œDidnâ€™t you see her this morning?â€ asked Dr. Sanders with a twinkle in her eye.

â€œYeah, but someoneâ€™s partner often knows better than the person,â€ said Trip.

â€œTrue enough. Hoshiâ€™s been well. A little tired, like we all are, but sheâ€™s fine. Speaking of which, how has our Captain been? Has she been taking care of herself?â€

Trip smiled.

â€œIâ€™ve been making sure of it,â€ he said.

Dr. Sanders looked up at the scans, and as she pushed a button, the imaging chamber door opened and the gurney slowly slid out. Tâ€™Pol sat up and turned to examine the scans.

â€œWell,â€ said Dr. Sanders, â€œit seems this is one for the record books.â€

Trip moved quickly to Tâ€™Polâ€™s side and placed a hand on her shoulder. Her face appeared a mask of Vulcan calm, but he knew otherwise.

Dr. Sanders tapped on the console and a vivd, color image appeared on the screen. It showed the fetus she carried. Tâ€™Pol closed her eyes.

â€œAre you okay?â€ asked Trip.

â€œYes,â€ she replied softly.

Sanders brought up another image. It was a genetic profile.

â€œThis is the childâ€™s genetic makeup,â€ she said, â€œIt appears that most Vulcan genes dominate human ones. Iâ€™ll have to study it further to see if there are any exceptions, but this baby is going to be a Vulcan for all practical purposes. Sheâ€™ll have pointed ears and copper blood, thatâ€™s for sure.â€

Trip smiled widely, and he let Tâ€™Pol rest her head on his shoulder.

â€œItâ€™s a girl?â€ he asked.

Dr. Sanders nodded.

â€œWeâ€™ll have to watch you carefully. Obviously, we donâ€™t know what complications will arise. But continue as you have been, and Iâ€™ll want to see you once a week from now on. More if you experience any unusual symptoms. Commander Tucker, Iâ€™m going to rely on you to make sure she follows all my instructions.â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded, meekly.

â€œWill do, doc,â€ he said.

****

A few hours later, Trip and Tâ€™pol sat in the captainâ€™s mess with Archer. Chef had prepared one of Archerâ€™s favorite meals, and the former captain was in an excellent mood that day because Tâ€™Pol hadnâ€™t told him the truth of their situation. He didnâ€™t know Earth had been destroyed, and he was intent on figuring out a way to be useful to the mission he didnâ€™t know had failed.

For his part, Trip was in such a good mood over the miracle of Tâ€™Polâ€™s pregnancy, he didnâ€™t mind being part of the deception at all. Tâ€™Pol was quieter, but she welcomed the distraction of playacting for Archer.

Her stomach was unsettled, so she simply ate a bowl of Plomeek soup.

â€œHowâ€™s the soup?â€ asked Archer.

â€œIt is acceptable,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

Archer turned to Trip.

â€œHow long have you two been seeing each other?â€ asked Archer, pointedly.

Trip looked at Tâ€™Pol, and she shrugged slightly. Archer wasnâ€™t a fool, and he knew them both very well. A few times before, after watching the pair who had been his senior officers interact, he had guessed they had become more than friends.

â€œAwhile,â€ said Trip.

â€œWas something going on before I got sick?â€ asked Archer amiably.

â€œNot technically,â€™ said Trip, â€œbut something was going on.â€

He winked across the table at Tâ€™Pol, who realized she had not known Trip to be this happy since before the first Xindi attack. She actually felt true, deep happiness flowing from his mind.

She turned and looked at Archer. The last time he had figured them out, he had reacted jealously and accused them of being irresponsible. This time, he seemed pleased.

â€œDoes the high command know about you two?â€

Trip shook his head, and he answered honestly.

â€œNope,â€ he said, â€œSoval figured out Tâ€™Pol bonded with someone, but he thinks itâ€™s you, Captain. Tâ€™Pol didnâ€™t correct him. With your sickness, it wouldnâ€™t be logical for Soval to get on your case. With me, Iâ€™d never hear the end of it.â€

Archer actually laughed.

â€œGlad I could be of help. . . Bonded? What does that mean?â€

Tâ€™Polâ€™s eyes widened, but then she calmed herself. Itâ€™s not like Archer would remember the conversation, so she could speak freely.

â€œVulcans form a telepathic connection with their mates. I didnâ€™t know one could form with a human, but it did,â€ she said simply.

â€œWell,â€ said Archer, â€œI wish I had something better to toast you two with, but congratulations.â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded, and Trip clinked a glass with his old friend, wishing he could tell Archer the whole truth. Then again, thought Trip, Archer was eventually going to notice that Tâ€™Pol was pregnant. But theyâ€™d cross that bridge when they came to it.

****

That night, Trip finally began to sense that Tâ€™Pol wasnâ€™t as happy as he was. It wasnâ€™t as if she didnâ€™t want the child, but her mind was awash in worry and sadness for the childâ€™s future. For her future. For Tripâ€™s future.

â€œItâ€™ll be okay, Tâ€™Pol,â€ he said, taking her hand in his.

He felt her shaking, actually shaking. He decided it was time for some old-fashioned neural pressure to calm her. He had read in the Vulcan database that the practice was good for the health of both mother and baby.

â€œCâ€™mon,â€ he said, â€œLie down.â€

She obeyed, and she closed her eyes as he skillfully applied pressure to the various nodes in her back and legs and feet. After a long while, she felt him kissing the back of her neck. Then, he moved to the tip of her ear.

â€œDr. Sanders says Iâ€™m to relieve your stress in any way possible,â€ he whispered in her ear, â€œNeural pressure is one way, but I can think of another way as well.â€

He slipped his hand down her pajamas bottoms and found a very specific neural node that had become his favorite. Whatever protest he sensed in her melted away, and when he turned her over, her lips met his with a hard, passionate kiss. Soon, they were both naked and spent, and he lay his head on her still taut belly.

â€œYou realize,â€ said Tâ€™Pol softly, â€œthat you will soon be the Captain of Enterprise.â€

Trip tensed up a bit, and then he kissed her navel.

â€œI suppose a pregnant captain isnâ€™t a good idea. . .not for the ship. . .not for you . . .or her. . .but maybe we could both go live on the surface. . .raise her there.â€

Tâ€™Pol ran her fingers through his hair.

â€œThe ship needs you. No one knows her better than you, and the crew wouldnâ€™t trust anyone besides you. Malcolm will make a fine first officer, but heâ€™s not ready to be Captain. It must be you.â€

Trip sighed. The colony needed to know they were protected, and Enterprise was the flagship. The great hope of humanity.

â€œI know,â€ he said sadly, â€œbut what will you do? Take care of the baby? Take care of Archer? Itâ€™ll be a step down. . .â€

â€œThat is irrelevant,â€ she said, â€œI will do what is best for all parties.â€

He sensed something cryptic both in her words and in her feelings. It unsettled him a bit, but he pushed it into the back of his mind. It wasnâ€™t going to be easy, but this child had given him hope that all was not lost. He had to believe that things would get better.

****

Two weeks later, Hoshi brought a PADD into Tâ€™Polâ€™s ready room.

â€œYouâ€™ve got two letters from Vulcan,â€ said Hoshi, â€œOne is from Soval. One is from the address you contacted last week. I havenâ€™t translated them.â€

â€œThank you, Lieutenant.â€

â€œHow are you feeling?â€ asked a smiling Hoshi, â€œIf I may ask?â€

Tâ€™Pol raised her eyebrow. She knew better than to think Dr. Sanders had violated her confidentiality, but she wanted to know how Hoshi knew.

â€œTrip told me two days ago. But donâ€™t blame him. I guessed. Your gate has changed just slightly, and youâ€™ve stopped drinking alcohol. And youâ€™ve gone to see the doctor once a week. I asked Trip about it and he smiled so big I thought he would burst. That sort of confirmed it.â€

Tâ€™Pol sighed.

â€œI am well. We will be making the announcement official once Iâ€™ve reached my second phase. . .thank you for your concern.â€

â€œCongratulations, Captain,â€ said Hoshi as she headed back to the bridge.

Alone in the ready room, Tâ€™Pol first read the letter from Soval, which contained the usual reports about the Xindi and the usual entreaty for her to return to Vulcan. She then accessed the second letter. When she finished reading it, she placed her head on the desk and used every bit of control she possessed to keep from weeping.

****

That night, when Trip arrived at her quarters, he sensed a peculiar nothingness from her. It was as if she put up a wall between them, effectively blocking their bond. The emptiness he felt was chilling.

She sat on the bed, still in her uniform.

â€œWhatâ€™s wrong? Did something happen with the baby?â€ he asked, rushing to her side.

â€œThe baby is healthy. Dr. Sanders believes I will carry her to term,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

Trip searched her eyes, and he saw nothing but Vulcan control in them.

â€œThen whatâ€™s wrong?â€

â€œI received a letter from my mother today,â€ she said softly.

â€œYour mother? I thought she wasnâ€™t talking to you. Something about you having disgraced your family for about twenty different Vulcan reasons. . .â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded.

â€œI sent her a letter last week telling her of my condition and that the child will be essentially Vulcan. She has agreed to raise her on Vulcan, as a Vulcan. This is the most logical choice for the child.â€

Trip inhaled sharply, and then he stood up. He leaned against the bulkhead, unable to look at her.

â€œYou canâ€™t be serious. . . â€œ

He felt her eyes on him, and he knew she was deadly serious. But he was, too. A rage like he hadnâ€™t felt since the days right after Earthâ€™s destruction flowed through him and he sent it all right toward her. She began to tremble.

â€œSheâ€™s our child. . my child. . .â€ he stuttered.

â€œSheâ€™s a Vulcan,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œWhat future will she have living here? Sheâ€™ll be an outcast. . among refugees. Vulcan still exists, sheâ€™ll have a chance for an education and a normal life. . .living among people who can teach her to control her emotions. . . emotions that you canâ€™t begin to help her understand. Among humans, she will only suffer. . .â€

â€œYou think the Vulcans will accept a half-human?â€ asked Trip, his voice was now desperate.

â€œThey wonâ€™t know. Dr. Sanders believes that only an examination of her genome would reveal her human ancestry. . .â€

â€œBut sheâ€™ll know,â€ said Trip, â€œSheâ€™ll have to know. . .â€

â€œShe will know,â€ said Tâ€™Pol softly, â€œbut think logically Trip. What are the odds this colony will survive? What are the odds that humanity will survive? Sheâ€™ll be better off there, and you know it.â€

Trip slid to the floor. He wanted to rush over to her and convince her she was wrong. Convince her everything would be okay. But it wasnâ€™t okay. It hadnâ€™t been okay since the day Archer had gotten sick.

â€œAll three of us can go live on Vulcan,â€ said Trip, â€œWeâ€™ll find a way to fit in. . .â€

â€œWould you really abandon this ship? Your people? When they need you?â€

Trip closed his eyes. He couldnâ€™t do that, and they both knew it.

â€œWhat about you? You can go back to Vulcan with her.â€

Tâ€™Pol shook her head.

â€œLong ago, I made my choice. I belong here, among your people. You need me. Archer needs me. I wonâ€™t go. Besides, with my disgrace. . .my mother doesnâ€™t wish me to return. That was one of the conditions for her accepting the child.â€

Tâ€™Pol suddenly crossed the room, and she knelt beside him but did not touch him.

â€œI understand this might cause you to hate me,â€ she said, â€œbut I must do what is best for her. _We_ must do what is best for her.â€

Tâ€™Pol reached up, and she put her fingers on Tripâ€™s temple. She let the bond energy flow between them and also through the child. This action would link his mind to the childâ€™s mind, so that no matter how far away their daughter was, she would always know that her parents loved her.

Trip finally looked into her eyes, and it was clear he comprehended what she had done. He couldnâ€™t speak, and so she simply pulled him into her arms and allowed him to cry.


	10. Chapter 10

The little house on Ceti Alpha V had proved a surprisingly comfortable place for Tâ€™Pol to wait for the birth of her daughter. The natural light and fresh air proved a welcome change, and she was grateful to no longer have the burden of being captain.

Around the fifth month of her pregnancy, Dr. Sanders had determined it would be safer for Tâ€™Pol to spend the remaining weeks before the birth planetside, given that the gravity there was more Vulcan-like and healthier for the child.

After a week or so of solitude, Tâ€™Pol suggested that Archer be allowed to join her. Trip had at first balked at the idea, citing the extra stress, but Tâ€™Pol had argued that it would give her something to occupy her mind and allow her to feel useful. When the first few days had gone smoothly, Trip had reluctantly agreed to allow Archer to stay with her until the baby was born. Since Trip couldnâ€™t be there for her, he was glad that she at least had someone to talk to during those long days.

As she fed Porthos his morning meal, Archer came up behind her. As the weeks passed, she found her friendship with her former superior officer evolving into something almost like kinship. She imagined that this would be what it would be like to have a sibling.

â€œIâ€™m not the father, am I?â€

_Not quite like a sibling_ , she thought.

â€œNo,â€ she said, â€œbut you ask that every day. And no, itâ€™s not your concern who is.â€

â€œThe father must be a Vulcan, then,â€ said Archer.

Tâ€™Pol sighed but she said nothing.

Tâ€™Pol had learned to deal with these questions, and she had strangely become grateful for them. Once she could no longer hide her condition, she and her child gave Archer something to focus on besides the terrible situation they had found themselves in.

â€œYou look about ready to drop that kid,â€ said Archer.

â€œMy date is set for two weeks from now,â€ she said, â€œI will return to the ship, as the doctor has all her medical equipment there.â€

â€œYou must be excited,â€ said Archer.

â€œI am grateful the child appears healthy, and I look forward to her birth,â€ said Tâ€™Pol without emotion.

****

For his part, Trip had gotten used to the transporter. He beamed down to the surface as often as he could, checking up on Tâ€™Pol and pretending that everything was normal. Part of him hoped she would change her mind about sending the baby to Vulcan, but deep down he knew better. During those visits, he focused on Tâ€™Pol and the babyâ€™s physical well-being and spoke of little else. The bond between them still existed, would always exist, but it had become a source of pain rather than solace. When he wasnâ€™t with her, he poured all his energy into being captain.

Making matters worse, Amanda had given birth to a healthy baby boy, and although Malcolm was doing his best not to show his joy when he was around Trip, he wasnâ€™t doing a very good job.

â€œItâ€™s okay, Mal,â€ he said, â€œIâ€™m happy that youâ€™re happy.â€

â€œI know itâ€™s none of my business, but are you sure she wonâ€™t change her mind?â€

Trip rubbed his face with his hands. He felt enormously tired, and he had gained new respect for both Archer and Tâ€™Pol in the last few months. It wasnâ€™t easy being captain, and the situation with Tâ€™Pol only added to the sense that he was slowly being ripped apart.

â€œHonestly, Mal, I donâ€™t think Iâ€™d let her change her mind. If the baby was human, that would be different. But Tâ€™Polâ€™s right. It isnâ€™t logical to raise her here.â€

Malcolm sighed. He didnâ€™t know what heâ€™d do if there was a safe place where he could send Lily and his new son Gavin. He wondered if he would have the strength to do what Trip was going to do. Although he and Amanda felt their new son represented hope, they also recognized how hard his life was going to be and were very aware of the real possibility that their son wouldnâ€™t live to grow up.

â€œWhen does Tâ€™Polâ€™s mother arrive?â€ asked Malcolm.

â€œNext week,â€ sighed Trip.

****

Two days before her mother was to arrive, Tâ€™Pol returned to Enterprise in a little ship that the colonists used to transport people up to the starships in orbit. Hoshi had agreed to stay on the surface with Archer so Tâ€™Pol could focus all her energies on the birth. Alone, Trip met her at the airlock and took her bag from her.

â€œWhere will I be staying?â€ asked Tâ€™Pol, assuming she would lodge in sickbay.

â€œThereâ€™s plenty of room for you in the captainâ€™s quarters,â€ said Trip, softly, â€œIâ€™d like to spend as much time with her as I can . . .before.â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded, and they walked in silence toward Tripâ€™s new quarters. After they arrived, the pair stood awkwardly for a few moments, and then Tâ€™Pol spoke.

â€œWe have been calling the child â€˜herâ€™ for months now. She needs a name,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œand you should be the one to give it to her.â€

Trip put a hand on her stomach. He had felt the child kick many times, and through the bond, he had sensed her mind coming into sentience. He knew that she liked it when her mother listened to jazz and that she preferred it when her mother drank chamomile tea instead of mint tea.

â€œI donâ€™t know many Vulcan names,â€ sighed Trip.

â€œYou may consult that Vulcan database,â€ suggested Tâ€™Pol.

Trip thought for a moment.

â€œI think I like Tâ€™Mir,â€ he said, â€œafter your foremother who spent time on Earth.â€

Trip put his hand in Tâ€™Polâ€™s.

â€œI think she approves,â€ he said, â€œSo Tâ€™Mir it is.â€

â€œIt is an agreeable name,â€ said Tâ€™Pol sadly.

****

Across the table in the captainâ€™s mess, Tâ€™Les looked at her daughter coldly, and then she turned to Trip.

â€œSo, Captain Tucker, you are the reason my daughter has disgraced herself. Soval assumed it was Jonathan Archer, but then again, Soval was never very astute about women.â€

Before Trip could leap to Tâ€™Polâ€™s defense, Tâ€™Pol lifted a hand and spoke, equally coldly.

â€œI chose to stay among humans long before I bonded with Trip,â€ said Tâ€™Pol and then she looked into Trip's eyes, â€œHe simply made the situation more bearable.â€

â€œDo you deny that you would have returned to Vulcan if it were not for this man?â€

â€œYes,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œSo logically, you should deduce that without him I would be dead.â€

Trip was deeply saddened by this conversation, but not for the obvious reasons. Tâ€™Pol and Tâ€™Lesâ€™s tense exchange reminded him so much of his sister and his mother that he almost laughed. Then, he remembered that both his mother and sister were dead.

At least he could comfort himself with the fact that Vulcans were not all that different from humans, despite what they would have everyone believe.

â€œWeâ€™ve named the girl Tâ€™Mir,â€ said Trip.

Tâ€™Les thought about this for a moment.

â€œIt is a good name,â€ she said.

â€œTrip chose it,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, sipping on her chamomile tea.

Tâ€™Les stared at Trip across the table, and he stared back.

â€œIt does you great honor,â€ said Tâ€™Les, â€œthat you are willing to put your daughterâ€™s welfare over your own desires, Captain. I can only hope that my granddaughter will inherit that quality.â€

â€œTâ€™Polâ€™s giving her up, too,â€ said Trip.

â€œYes,â€ said Tâ€™Les, â€œbut that is the Vulcan way. I realize as a human such un-selfishness does not come naturally.â€

Trip smirked, and he couldnâ€™t argue with that. Letting go of Tâ€™Mir would be the most unnatural thing he had ever done.

****

Trip thought he would be the one that needed comforting, but after Tâ€™Les left with their tiny girl in her arms, it was Tâ€™Pol that unraveled. At first, Trip thought she had gone into a deep meditative state, but then he realized that she was nearly catatonic, whispering in Vulcan to herself. He feared for her sanity.

Dr. Sanders sedated her, and Trip carried her back to his quarters where she slept for nearly twenty-four hours.

Thinking it was better to let her be, Trip completed his shift on the bridge and then returned to his quarters to find her awake. He said nothing, but he made her some tea and brought it to her.

â€œI havenâ€™t had mint tea in months,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œbecause she didnâ€™t like it.â€

â€œYouâ€™re a good mother,â€ he said softly, â€œand sheâ€™ll always know that.â€

He took the mug from her shaking hands, and he entwined his fingers into hers. With this Vulcan gesture, he helped her gather up the shreds of her emotional control. He also realized that she would never be the same after this. _At least_ , he thought sorrowfully, _the two of them would always have that in common._


	11. Chapter 11

Two days after Tâ€™Les left for Vulcan, Tâ€™Pol returned to the surface of Ceti Alpha V. She concentrated on caring for Archer, and Trip threw himself in the heavy burden of being captain. Weeks turned into months. Tâ€™Pol sometimes corresponded with people from the ship, especially Hoshi, who often wrote to inquire about Archerâ€™s well-being. Trip sometimes contacted her, but it was always about shipâ€™s operations or some matter concerning Vulcan diplomacy. The tone was formal, that of a current captain speaking to the former one.

Then, almost two years after the birth of their child, Tâ€™Pol was tending to the vegetable garden in her front yard when Trip appeared at the gate. He wore his Starfleet uniform with the gold stripes, and he held a bouquet of lilacs from the shipâ€™s garden. Enterprise had been carrying botanical samples to share with other species they met during their explorations, and now that garden contained precious remains of Earthâ€™s stunning horticultural diversity.

â€œEvenin,â€ said Trip.

Tâ€™Pol noticed a few new lines on his face and dark circles beneath his eyes. It did not surprise her, given his great responsibilities. She took the flowers and inhaled their scent.

â€œIt is agreeable to see you, Captain,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

Before they could speak further, Archer appeared in door and came out to greet his old friend. Soon, the three of them sat at the kitchen table and talked of their early adventures together. The two men even laughed, and Tâ€™Polâ€™s eyes sparkled.

Eventually, Archerâ€™s brain injury caused him to fatigue, and he retired for the evening. Trip lingered and helped her clean up the dishes. As Tâ€™Pol placed the last plate in the cabinet, she turned to him.

â€œWould you care for some wine?â€

â€œThereâ€™s wine?â€

â€œItâ€™s the first vintage. Pinot noir grapes grow well in the soil here. Due to his injury, Archer can not share it with me.â€

Tâ€™Pol pulled a glass jug and two glasses down from the shelf. They sat in the small living room and talked. She spoke of the long, tedious days of caring for Archer, and he spoke of the day-to-day ship operations and about various members of the crew. Soon, however, there was nothing more to say and they were in each otherâ€™s arms. He carried her into her small bedroom, where there was no future and no past.

Much later, as they held each other before drifting to sleep he thought the words _All we have is right now_ , and he knew she heard them.

****

After that, Trip visited regularly, although not as often as he would have liked. Two or three times a month he managed to slip away to the surface but never more than that. Malcolm was becoming more confident as a stand-in captain, but there were always issues to sort out and decisions that had to be the captainâ€™s and the captainâ€™s alone.

Sometimes, Trip would arrive at the front gate bearing gifts from the ship, as he had the first day. He would spend time with Archer, and in doing so, lift some of the daily burden from her. Other times, he would just materialize in her room late at night as if he was a clandestine lover, and they were engaged in an illicit affair. The irony wasnâ€™t lost on either of them.

They were lovers and bondmates, but also friends who understood one another. He would talk to her about all the decisions he had to make each day, and she would advise and support him as if she was still the first officer.

One day, about a year after their reunion, he brought at PADD with him. He showed it to her, and she realized it was a letter from her mother, written in English.

â€œShe started writing me a couple months ago,â€ said Trip, â€œasking me about human things. Seems Tâ€™Mirâ€™s human side sometimes surfaces, and she wanted advice. Tâ€™Mir dreams a lot, and I guess Vulcan kids donâ€™t do that so your mom wanted to know what to do.â€

Tâ€™Pol put her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes.

â€œI told Tâ€™Les to read her a story before making her go back to sleep. Since Vulcans donâ€™t do bedtime stories, I forwarded a file of Goodnight Moon, which Tâ€™Mir liked except she wanted to know why there was only one 'celestial body' in the story. I had forgotten that Vulcan doesn't technically have a moon.â€

Tâ€™Polâ€™s opened her eyes, but she said nothing. Trip grabbed her hand, and he sensed her suppressing a spectrum of emotions.

â€œI didnâ€™t show this to you to upset you. Tâ€™Les said it might, but it didnâ€™t seem fair, you not knowing we were in touch. . . thereâ€™s an image.â€

Trip pressed a couple of buttons on the PADD, and an image of a little girl with straight brown hair, pointed ears and a serious expression appeared. Most striking, however, were the girlâ€™s blue eyes.

â€œTâ€™Les says that since no Vulcan thinks cross-breeding is possible, they just assume her eyes are a mutation of some sort,â€ said Trip.

Tâ€™Pol touched the image with her hand.

â€œIâ€™m pleased you showed me this,â€ she said.

â€œIâ€™m glad,â€ he said softly, â€œand I was wondering. You know Phlox is still working on a cure. . .if that happens. . .I was thinking maybe we could go to Vulcan for a visit. We wouldnâ€™t have to stay long, I mean, I wouldnâ€™t want to disrupt her life. . .but Iâ€™d like to see her.â€

Tâ€™Pol nodded in the affirmative.

â€œIf he gets well,â€ she said, â€œwe shall go.â€

****

Four years later, Archer was walking Porthos on a drizzly day. When he arrived at his front gate, he noticed a young woman - a girl really - sitting on the front steps and getting wet.

â€œHello, Captain Archer,â€ said the girl in a slightly English-accented voice.

â€œI assume weâ€™ve met,â€ he said.

â€œMany times,â€ she said getting up and holding out her hand, â€œIâ€™m Lily Reed.â€

â€œYouâ€™re Malcolmâ€™s?â€

She nodded as he shook her hand.

â€œYou donâ€™t look much like Malcolm,â€ said Archer, who couldnâ€™t help but notice the girl was taller than Reed, and had blond hair, a pug nose and green eyes. Archer also noted multi-colored nail polish and a series of scars on the top of her arms.

â€œHe and his wife adopted me after the big attack,â€ she said, â€œbut I have a little brother that lookâ€™s just like my Dad.â€

â€œWhoâ€™d Malcolm marry? Anyone I know?â€

â€œThe MACO Amanda Cole. She died in a pirate attack two years ago,â€ said Lily without emotion.

â€œIâ€™m sorry to hear that,â€ said Archer.

â€œIt happens,â€ said Lily.

Tâ€™Pol came out the front door.

â€œIt is illogical to stand in the rain,â€ she said, beckoning the two inside, â€œI have made tea. Itâ€™s in the kitchen.â€

Since Amandaâ€™s death, Lilyâ€™s grades had suffered. Malcolm had asked Tâ€™Pol to tutor her in organic chemistry, not only because Tâ€™Pol excelled at the subject but also because visits to the surface tended to cheer up Lily.

As they sipped their tea, Lily turned to Archer.

â€œThereâ€™s some coffee on the ship. Seems they grow Earth coffee plants on Tellarite, and the Tellarite traders sometimes bring us some. Captain Tucker can be stingy about who gets it, but Iâ€™ll bet I can convince him to share some with you.â€

â€œIâ€™d like that,â€ said Archer.

â€œWill you tell me about the time you saved my dad from the Romulan mine? And donâ€™t gloss over the details.â€

****

Three years later, Tâ€™Pol and Trip were cloistered in her bedroom looking over the data on a PADD.

â€œHe really thinks he has it this time?â€ asked Trip, â€œThereâ€™s been so many disappointments. . . .â€

Tâ€™Pol brushed a hair from his face, and she leaned over and touched her forehead to his.

â€œHeâ€™s never made the journey before this. He must be confident of his work.â€

â€œWhat will Archer do?â€ asked Trip, â€œItâ€™s been so long. . .â€

â€œItâ€™s not been long for him. At least in his mind,â€ she said, â€œand Iâ€™m sure his skills will be valuable to President Chang. She will no doubt find something for him to contribute.â€

Trip gathered her into a hug, the long-hoped for visit to Vulcan was in both their thoughts, but they did not speak of it.

â€œWe can use all the help we can get, Archer's input included. The intelligence chatter has been ominous lately. The Xindi havenâ€™t given up. Most races in this quadrant are on our side, but Iâ€™m afraid itâ€™s just a matter of time. . . â€œ

â€œWe must hope it doesnâ€™t come to that,â€ whispered Tâ€™Pol.

****

Hoshi, Trip and Malcolm sat around the Captain's table for their morning command meeting. The mood was unusually happy, due to the visitors that were set to arrive in just a few hours.

"It'll be great to see Phlox again," said Hoshi, "Miranda has about a million questions for him about his logs. I told her to try and limit them to around ten, just so he won't be overwhelmed."

Malcolm smiled.

"Lily can't wait to see Archer," said Malcolm, "I think she'll make him tell the Romulan mine story again. Maybe it will lighten her mood."

"Still the morose teenager?"

Malcolm rolled his eyes.

"I don't know if she'd be this way if the situation was. . .normal or if she's just a teenager. Her latest thing is an absolute refusal to come with us to The Endeavor. I've told her she can transport over anytime she likes, but she's adamant. Won't even discuss the matter. By the way, Michio's been coming around to see her, but she won't talk about that either."

Hoshi laughed.

"He says he's been hanging out in engineering, but I figured he was stopping off to see Lily on the way. Probably on the way back, too."

Trip contributed nothing to the conversation, but his mind drifted to the letter he had gotten from T'Mir that morning. She was still in primary school, and so the letter was filled with stories of her school projects and sweet tales about her pet Sehlat. Trip made a mental note to ask T'Pol what Vulcan teenagers were like, so he would know what to expect.

"As much as I am enjoying this conversation," he said, "We've got some intelligence reports to go over. It seems the Xindi are operating pretty close to here. . ."

****

Later that afternoon, Tâ€™Pol felt the battle raging all around her. Then, her body went cold. The bond that had been her solace for nearly twelve years had been severed, and she was alone. She also knew what she had to do.

â€œThe bridge is gone,â€ said Archer.

â€œTâ€™Pol to Phlox,â€ she said.

â€œGo ahead,â€ said Phlox through the comm.

â€œMeet us in Engineering. Weâ€™re going to finish the procedure.â€

â€œUnderstood.â€

â€œWe donâ€™t have time to worry about parasites right now,â€ said Archer.

â€œThatâ€™s not necessarily true,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, â€œCome with me. Iâ€™ll explain.â€


	12. Epilogue

â€œYouâ€™d make a good nurse,â€ said Archer.

For that remark, Archer earned himself an eyebrow raise and nothing more.

As Tâ€™Pol left sickbay she experienced gratification that Archer appeared well, but she nonetheless had to suppress irritation. Tâ€™Pol respected those who dedicated their lives to the sick, but considering her skills and training, the idea of spending her life getting pillows for Jonathan Archer rankled her. He enjoyed being waited-on far too much for her.

_No wonder he never married_ , she thought, _even human women werenâ€™t that foolish_. As much as she respected him as a captain and enjoyed his friendship, Tâ€™Pol nearly shuddered at the idea of bonding with Archer. The very qualities that made him such an effective captain were the things that would have made him an intolerable bondmate.

Tâ€™Pol was so caught up in her thoughts, she walked straight into Commander Tucker, who instinctively grabbed her arm to prevent from knocking her over.

â€œWhoa there,â€ he said, making sure she kept her balance.

Normally, Tâ€™Pol would have winced at such casual physical contact, but the neural pressure sessions had made her more physically comfortable with Tucker than she was with other humans.

â€œWhatâ€™s got you so distracted?â€ he said.

â€œIâ€™m not distracted,â€ she stated, â€œI am simply relieved that the captain was not more seriously injured during the anomaly.â€

â€œRight,â€ he drawled, smiling, â€œHow is the Captain?â€

â€œResting comfortably,â€ she said, â€œPhlox believes he will soon be able to return to duty.â€

Tripâ€™s body relaxed a little. He may have been affecting a casual attitude, but she knew the captainâ€™s injury, superficial though it was, had caused him great trepidation. Tucker, perhaps even more than the rest of the crew, recognized Archer as essential to the success of their mission. _Strange_ , she thought, _how I have come to sense his feelings._

â€œI guess heâ€™ll have to miss the movie tonight. Thatâ€™s a shame. Itâ€™s one of his favorites,â€ said Trip.

â€œHeâ€™ll be watching it in sickbay,â€ said Tâ€™Pol.

â€œYeah,â€ said Trip, â€œbut itâ€™s not the same. Horror films need to be experienced as a group. Heightens the effectiveness.â€

Tâ€™Pol sighed.

â€œThen perhaps I will decline,â€ she said, â€œI will be unable to contribute to a group sense of fear, since I donâ€™t experience fear.â€

Trip smiled.

â€œI donâ€™t know, itâ€™s a pretty creepy movie. . .â€

Tâ€™Pol blinked at him.

â€œStill,â€ he continued, â€œWeâ€™d miss you. Iâ€™d miss you, if you didnâ€™t come.â€

â€œThen, I shall see you there.â€

*****

Tâ€™Pol headed back to her quarters after the film, not staying to discuss its plot and themes with the others. While Tâ€™Pol did not experience emotions, she did find the story disquieting. As dissimilar as the their cultures were, Humans and Vulcans clearly shared anxiety about procreation and the rituals that surrounded it. Such a scenario as portrayed in the film could never happen to a Vulcan woman, for reasons she wasnâ€™t at liberty to share with her human colleagues, but the film had been instructive about specific human fears.

Her Vulcan hearing recognized familiar footsteps behind her.

â€œHowâ€™d you like the movie?â€ asked Trip.

â€œIt was fascinating.â€

â€œDid it scare you?â€

â€œNo,â€ she said honestly, as she arrived at her door.

â€œAlways scares the hell out of me. Could I trouble you for a little neural pressure? Itâ€™ll help me ward off the nightmares. . .â€

â€œI suppose of any male on the ship, you would be the most likely to relate to Rosemaryâ€™s predicament.â€

Trip furrowed his brow a bit at this.

â€œOh. . .oh yeah. Youâ€™re never gonna let me forget that are you?â€

â€œDo you wish to engage in neural pressure treatment or not?â€ she asked, gesturing for him to come inside.

Trip followed her, and they fell into what had become routine for them. Soon, he was on the floor, sprawled on his stomach and shirtless. She was pressing into a neural node on his back, when the ship shook all around them, tossing her off her knees and onto his back. A PADD slid from her desk, and several objects fell from the shelves. They had encountered another anomaly.

â€œAre you okay?â€ he asked.

â€œYes,â€ she said, as she crawled off him and sat up, â€œI hope I did not injury you.â€

â€œIâ€™m glad youâ€™re so tiny,â€ he said as he got to his feet and reached out a hand to help her up.

She took it and stood up next to him.

The standard procedure was for all hands to stay put, including senior officers. Trip used the comm to call down to engineering, and he gave a few orders to his staff. Tâ€™Pol contacted Malcolm on the bridge, and he reported that while they were at dead stop, everything seemed to be under control despite them being trapped in the anomaly. After that, all they could do was wait.

â€œSeems Iâ€™m stuck here, Commander,â€ said Trip.

She thought she detected a hint of a smile from him.

â€œIt would be illogical not to proceed with the session,â€ said Tâ€™Pol as she finished picking up the stray objects and returning them to their rightful places, â€œsince neither of us can go anywhere.â€

Trip got back down on the floor, and she crawled on top of him once again. When they had finished, the anomaly had yet to pass, and Trip was clearly becoming sleepy.

â€œPlease, Commander,â€ she said, â€œI require far less sleep than you. You may take my bunk. I will awaken you if we clear the anomaly.â€

Trip shook his head.

â€œI canâ€™t take your bunk,â€ he said.

â€œIâ€™ll be meditating for the next hour at least,â€ she replied, â€œYouâ€™ll be in my way if you are on the floor. I prefer you in the bunk.â€

Trip relented and climbed into her bunk.

â€œWake me if anything happens,â€ he said.

â€œI assure you, I will,â€ she said as she positioned herself on the floor.

****

Tâ€™Pol opened her eyes, and she found herself on Vulcan. It was a very specific place on Vulcan, the garden of her motherâ€™s house. Except, when Tâ€™Pol looked at the sky, she only saw one moon.

She looked down at herself and saw that she was wearing a blue Starfleet uniform, with a gold stripe and, more surprisingly, captainâ€™s pips. She fingered the metal circles, as if to be certain of their existence. They felt solid.

Tâ€™Pol guessed that this was a dream, but her experience with dreams was so limited that she was unsure. She turned around and decided to head inside, but sitting on the steps leading to the main house was a child.

The Vulcan girl had straight brown hair and was adorned in the robes common for those children in late primary school.

Tâ€™Pol approached her and was startled to see that the girl had blue eyes.

The girl elevated her hand and spread her fingers in the traditional Vulcan greeting. Tâ€™Pol responded in kind.

â€œWho are you?â€ asked Tâ€™Pol.

â€œDonâ€™t you know?â€

Tâ€™Pol shook her head, and the girl sighed in un-Vulcan frustration.

â€œI donâ€™t exist in your timeline,â€ said the girl, â€œbut I might. Thereâ€™s still a chance.â€

â€œWhat do you mean?â€

â€œThere was another timeline,â€ she said, â€œI came into existence there, but you had to stop that timeline. You did the right thing by stopping it, but I disappeared along with all the bad things.â€

â€œWho are you?â€

â€œI think you know. Deep down.â€

Tâ€™Pol looked over her shoulder, and she saw Trip sleeping on a chaise at the edge of the garden. Tâ€™Pol walked to him and knelt down to see if he was in distress.

â€œI tried to go into his dream,â€ said the girl, â€œbut I couldnâ€™t. His mind isnâ€™t focused enough. Not yet. But you could help him. You did in the other timeline.â€

Tâ€™Pol suddenly recognized the girlâ€™s eyes.

â€œWhere are we?â€

â€œThis is my white space,â€ said the girl, â€œIâ€™ve made it - more interesting. Foremother said I did it because my human half canâ€™t abide simplicity.â€

Tâ€™Pol was silent.

â€œYouâ€™re only here because this anomaly is special,â€ said the girl, â€œWeâ€™re not in your timeline or my timeline. Weâ€™re somewhere outside of time. Unless you create me, I wonâ€™t be able to see you again.â€

Tâ€™Pol looked over at Trip, understanding.

â€œI canâ€™t . . .Itâ€™s not. . .â€ she found herself stuttering.

Tâ€™Mir walked toward her mother and took her hand.

â€œItâ€™s _very logical_ ,â€ said the little girl, â€œYou just need to open your mind to the logic of it.â€

Tâ€™Pol was quiet, and Tâ€™Mir closed her eyes. It wasnâ€™t quite a mind meld, but Tâ€™Pol did manage to sense something of the bond that had existed between the three of them in the other timeline. She nearly fainted, but she steadied herself as Tâ€™Mir let go.

â€œThe anomaly is collapsing,â€ said Tâ€™Mir softly, as she again lifted her hand in the familiar salute, â€œLive long and prosper, mother, whatever you decide.â€

Tâ€™Pol found herself in her white space for what seemed like a long, empty time. She then felt a hand on her shoulder.

â€œTâ€™Pol,â€ said Trip from somewhere far away, â€œare you okay?â€

Her eyes flew open, and she was back in her quarters. She turned to him and saw worry in his face.

â€œI had an alarming. . .vision,â€ she said.

â€œThe all clear came,â€ he said, â€œbut you couldnâ€™t hear it. Itâ€™s like you were catatonic or something. . .I think you should go see Phlox. You look really pale.â€

She met his eyes, remembering the strange images from her dream-state.

â€œThe anomaly affected my meditation. I believe I should not engage in the practice while we are trapped in one.â€

Trip nodded.

â€œAre you sure youâ€™re okay?â€

â€œI saw. . .strange things. . . hallucinations. . .it was disquieting. I believe I should rest.â€

Trip took the hint, but he didnâ€™t appear at all happy about leaving her.

â€œI will be fine, Commander,â€ she said, standing up and escorting him to the door.

â€œOkay, but if you have any more crazy meditation visions, go see Phlox. Promise?â€

She nodded her promise, but before he left, she spoke again.

â€œHumans believe dreams and visions have meaning, do they not?â€

â€œMost cultures think so. My mom always said dreams were your subconscious mind telling your conscious mind things it didnâ€™t want to know. For better or worse.â€

â€œFascinating,â€ said Tâ€™Pol, regaining he composure.

"You know it's funny you should mention dreams," he said, "I had a dream I was on Vulcan - in a garden. I didn't know they had gardens there. I thought it was just desert everywhere. Anyway, I suppose sleeping in a Vulcan's bed will do that do you. . .anyway, sleep well, Commander."

She sensed he wanted to say something more, but he didn't.

"Good night, Commander."

After he was gone, she did not go to sleep. Instead, she meditated in her white space for a long time, trying to find that garden on Vulcan with only one moon.

Fin


End file.
